Happy new year!
Resolutions done and dusted? Ready for an exciting new decade? Once again we are outrunning various fictional attempts to imagine the upcoming year.
We will not be fighting an endless war against amnesia-inducing alien invaders as Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt did in Edge of Tomorrow; we will not be sending a rescue ship to save Don Cheadle on the surface of Mars as director Brian De Palma did in Mission To Mars; we will not be building giant Jaegers to protect the world from marauding monsters called Kaiju (c.f. Pacific Rim).
And while Britain braces for Boris Johnson's post-truth politics it will at least be spared Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale battling Reign Of Fire's post-apocalyptic dragons.
Those were cinematic predictions for 2020. They're almost as accurate as the psychics and other seers.
Over in Ireland, Old Moore’s Almanac is now 256 years old and remains a popular stocking filler. Many many copies were given and received last week. Its revival in recent years is partly due to entertaining predictions of future events.
This year Old Moore's is predicting further scandal for Prince Andrew and the royal family. Not a lot of special powers required there. They also predict President Trump will not serve a second term, but will not go quietly. There will apparently be violent clashes between opposing U.S. election campaign sides.
Kerry and Cork
For those with a closer connection to the green isle, they also mention that Gaelic Football All Ireland Men's winner will be Kerry while All Ireland Women's winner will be Cork.
On a more serious note they say it is in the stars for Miley Cyrus and Cody Simpson to get married and for Liam and Noel Gallagher to reconcile, while Julian Assange will be extradited to the US to face trial. You heard it here first folks. Unless you are Irish.
Then there are the “Prophecies and Predictions” of Betsey Lewis. Apparently “at the age of seven Betsey began to have lucid dreams of catastrophic Earth changes that were given to her several nights in a row shortly after a UFO encounter.”
Betsey says “President Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020 despite those who want him to fail or want him impeached.” However, she also says “I do not see him impeached”, which suggests a certain failure to understand the American political process. Actually, Betsey seems very fond of Trump, even describing the Mueller Report as “fake news”. Oh, and Harry and Meghan are going to move to America.
At least Betsey has a reason for her prediction that 2020 will be a year of extreme cold and snow-breaking records, worldwide civil unrest and riots and revolution. It's because of Planet X, aka Nibiru, aka Planet Nine, which will be confirmed as travelling through our solar system "because there will be photos and leaks from NASA". Planet X (do I have to keep saying “apparently”) brings lots of space debris with it, hence volcanoes erupting, sudden tsunamis, sinkholes, mysterious booms and strange sightings in the sky. And animals behaving in strange ways. Hmm...
Then there's Judy Hevenly, who not only boasts an extraordinarily psychic name but comes from “South Africa, the land of magic and mysticism”. She predicts that The Irishman and Martin Scorsese will both win Oscars, mobile phones will have universal translation, India will win the ICC, Miley Cyrus and Cody Simpson will tie the knot (I guess that's really happening then) and that New Zealand will legaliae cannabis for recreational use in November 2020.
One last check on the future: Askastronomy.com. If you ask them, Donald Trump will not be re-elected. They say: “In fact, many psychics believe that he’ll actually resign before his presidency is up.” So there.
However, they can be a bit vague, as this final prediction shows...
“A new movie will amaze the public. It’s going to break many records, including box office sales. On the other hand, several other movies will bomb, hard.” With insights like that, it's a wonder there's any confusion at all about the future...