Diesel Rogers Dining with Diesel www.sunlive.co.nz

Now I know age is catching up with me as my eyes do not seem to be what they were.
Ady and I were having our daily exercise when in the distance I saw an apparition, which I thought could only be a woolly Mammoth or a Shetland pony, as no way could a canine be this big.

I genuinely thought it could only be about 50 metres away, but after two stops and a sniff around a tree I arrived next to this thing, only to have to put a kink in my neck looking up at him, (a little like Paul Holmes trying to talk to Jeremy Clarkson).
Damn he was huge. All I could see was his male bits, and poor Ady fainted when she stopped underneath him. After the usual doggie style of getting to know each other, we found out he was a Saint Bernard, without the brandy keg. I have got to tell you poor Ady was in dire need of a shot of brandy as I have never seen her sit so still. I still have not figured out if it was from excitement seeing his landing gear or the size of his tail.
Flat as a pancake
If you were lost somewhere and this brute came up to you, standing over you slobbering and panting, I would want to give up alcohol immediately. If he made a false move and accidentally stood on you, well, you reckon the Canterbury Plains and flounder are flat?
It was after a little cavorting around that I realised that never again will I accept from anyone that I am too big, damn you would have to have a gold card just to feed this boy. The boss thinks I have a problem, now I can just grin at him as I have the proof.
And talking about Saints and alcohol, as you are possibly aware, any chance I get I am into the boss's rum glass so it was with appreciation that I received in the post this week an early Christmas present from the saintly people at K9 Herbals, who had read about my bionic leg and made up this potion to make me go even faster. They explained that it was alcohol based, and as soon as the boss saw that, he was about to pour a little nip. Now I have had some of this already, and it has sure cured the headache I got from bumping into the Saint. Anyway many thanks K9 Herbals, it is good to see there is an alternative medicine remedy out there for us animals.
Presents for the pets
Also, if all you pet owners are wanting to get your dearly beloved pet a Christmas present, make sure you get down and see Ross and Dianne at ‘Animal Antics' on Hewlett's Road, for most things you can only dream about, unfortunately they do not have toy Saint Bernard landing gear kits, but Ross may have some pictures out the back.
And do not forget ‘Johnny boy' the Aussie Butcher in Gate Pa for your entire meaty selections to go on the old barbecue or into the oven, and I have also seen the size of his salamis, and they make ‘Bernie' cringe.
Alrighty my good people, that's all from me this week, so take care out there and never forget, do it to them before they do it to you.

Brandied Christmas pudding

Ingredients
115 grams flour
1 heaped teaspoon of baking powder
175 grams breadcrumbs
1 teaspoon mixed spice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
250 grams very cold grated butter
175 grams brown sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
175 grams sultanas
175 grams raisins
175 grams currants
85 grams blanched almonds
175 grams mixed peel
2 eggs
150 ml milk
Grated rind of one lemon
1 tablespoon of brandy

Method
Grease a large stainless steel bowl or large pudding basin. Weigh the dried fruit into a second large bowl, and in another bowl toss the cold grated butter through the flour to keep the butter separated. Add the butter and flour mixture, breadcrumbs, baking powder, brown sugar and spices to the fruit. Beat the eggs and milk together and pour over the dry ingredients and pour in the brandy. Mix thoroughly and pour into the well greased bowl. Stretch a layer of cooking paper and tinfoil over the rim of the bowl and tie securely. Place an old soup bowl upside down in your largest saucepan then place the pudding on top and fill the saucepan three quarters fu with boiling water. Cover and steam or simmer for 5 to 6 hours, checking regularly to make sure the saucepan has not boiled dry.
Steam for two hours on Christmas day to reheat. More brandy may be added before serving with brandy butter or brandy sauce and whipped cream.