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Diesel Rogers Dining with Diesel www.sunlive.co.nz |
Sung to the tune of ‘Snoopy versus The Red Baron':
The news has come out, of The Strand downtown
That the bloody hoons were gooning around
The boss went to sort them but was short of good men
So called the Chocolate Crusader to do it again.
Twas the night before Christmas, 25 degrees
When the Chocolate Crusader was checking for fleas
The hoons interrupted and fiercely they fought
With sweat in his eyes, the crusader knew he was caught
Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing out along The Strand
Asking peace for all the world
And goodwill to best friend of man
Hoons had the Crusader dead in their sights
Would they reach for a weapon to finish the fight?
But they did not, instead broke down in mirth
Maybe it was it the sight of his magnificent girth
Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ring out along The Strand
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to best friend of man
The hoons forced him over the railway track
He thought this is it, I might never come back
The crusader was sure that this was the end
When all they cried out ‘Merry Christmas my friend'
They then offered the crusader a holiday bone
And the crusader our hero, ate it all on his own
Then with a roar, they all went on their way
Each knowing they would meet again some day
Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ring along the railway lines
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to all canines
Merry Christmas from Diesel and Ady
Items I would like to
see in stockings:
1. Charlize Theron
2. The partridge from the pear tree, roasted
3. The bone from the ham (preferably with ham still attached)
4. A laptop without the cat on it.
5. Zhu Zhu pet – with motorised food bowl
6. iPoodle
7. Pair of boxers. Not of the SBW type. I would prefer cute brindle twins
8. Catskin cap, please leave the ears on
9. A Swing (meat) Ball set, with extra spare meatballs
10. Actually some balls would be nice
11. Postman Pat chew toy
12. An invisible tail
13. An inflatable ‘Barbie'
14. Possum fur nipple warmers, (preferably with nipples included)
15. A food bowl that is never empty
16. A letter from the Queen (not Freddy Mercury) saying fox hunting will never be banned.
Before I disappear for the year, I would like to make a special mention of two great groups of people and wish them a special Merry Christmas.
(a) The great team at the Aussie Butchers in Gate Pa, and especially Johnny boy, for a continuous supply of bones. Make sure you get in and see him, and for the last time this year, remember you cannot beat Johnnie's meat.
(b) A very big special thanks to the Bethlehem vets and the special attention they gave me in putting humpty (me) back together again. The leg is as good as new, and there should be no problem on New Year's Eve getting it over.
Roast Ham
With Boysencider Glaze and
Spiced Apple Chutney
Ingredients
1 raw half ham (about 5kg)
250ml Old Mout Boysencider
25 cloves
100g honey or ‘Gusto' apple syrup
100g dark brown sugar
Method
Cover ham with water in a large pan and bring to the boil.
Simmer for 20 minutes per 450g plus an extra 15 minutes.
Remove from the pan and trim and score the fat. Stud with cloves. Cover with apple syrup and sugar. Pour over the Boysencider.
Roast at 190C for approximately 45 minutes or until golden brown, basting regularly with cider glaze.
Serve hot or cold with apple chutney (recipe follows) and salads.
Spiced Apple Chutney
Ingredients
900g apples, peeled, cored and grated
350g brown sugar
225g sultanas and raisins
25g ground ginger
25g garlic
50g mustard seeds
420ml spiced vinegar
420ml white vinegar
Method
Place all the ingredients in a large pan, bring to the boil and cook for at least two hours on a medium-low heat. Allow to cool a little and spoon into sterile jars with twist top lids.
Mature for as long as possible, up to two years.
Cheers all and Happy Happy, Joy, Joy.