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Diesel Rogers Dining with Diesel www.sunlive.co.nz |
The world isn't a safe place. Not like the good old days when you could leave your valuables lying around and no-one else would chew them.
At least with the technology these days we can track and monitor suspects who invade our personal space and damage our property.
This helps take quite a burden off the dog population, who until now, had to shoulder the responsibility of being watchdog, as well as lap warmer, child entertainment centre and kitchen pre-wash facility.
In today's hidden camera operation, we set out to discover why my dog door keeps breaking.
Was it the cat? Maybe Ralph has wild parties in my absence, with Chadwick from down the driveway and the Ginger Bastard from up the hill?
Maybe they get high snorting catnip, like drug-fuelled rock stars, then throw the television out the window and kick the door in?
It was time for us to set the trap and await the mysterious vandal.
The results were a shock to all of us. Here you see the culprit, a 40-plus kilogram brown animal, (probably a cat in a dog suit) wearing a faded red collar, green council tag, no tattoos but with some facial hair, attempting to enter the house with a large bone.
If you know the identity of this door basher, call us today at 0800 BADBOY.
In other news, I always knew my good mate Johnny the Aussie butcher boy in Gate Pa was big, but I did not realise his bone was this big. I knew from the noises the boss makes after eating one of his dinosaur steaks that he puts the B in big, and you should make sure you get in to see him, as his specials are Big as well.
Marinated rump steak
Ingredients
400-450g rump steak
75ml red wine
75ml Worcestershire sauce
1 large clove garlic, peeled and crushed
1 tsp oil
A few sprigs fresh watercress, to garnish
Method
Mix red wine, Worcestershire sauce and garlic together and pour over steaks in a shallow dish. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for a few hours, or overnight.
Dry steaks with a paper towel and reserve the marinade.
Place a medium frying pan over high heat and heat oil until very hot. Sear the steaks four minutes on each side. Add the reserved marinade in the last two minutes and simmer until it is reduced by half. Remove steaks, cut into slices diagonally and place on warmed serving plates. Spoon the sauce over the steaks and garnish with watercress. Serve with garlic and cheese mashed potatoes. Serves 2.
Bahama Mama
Ingredients
1 oz spiced rum
½ oz coconut rum
½ oz banana curacao
Orange juice
Pineapple juice
½ oz grenadine
Method
Combine rum and curacao over ice. Add juices in equal parts to fill the glass then stir to mix.
Add grenadine and garnish with a cherry and an orange slice.
Alrighty my good people, that's all from me this week, and make sure you keep an eye open for anything trying to get through your door, with a bone in its mouth.
And also before I go I would like to apologise for my detrimental remarks, made about 'ocker” cricketers last week, as what can I say about our efforts in the 'Tron” last weekend.
Mmmm I have to do it; they were as limp as a glass of Budweiser beer.