Diesel Rogers Dining with Diesel www.sunlive.co.nz

It has been a week for me stuck on the couch, watching with sadness the events unfolding for my brothers in arms, down in 'Crusader Land”, and the only shining light has been the determination and spirit shown by survivors and rescuers alike.

You two-leggers have learnt from us that kindness and generosity is in our hearts, but if I ever come across the low life that have used this unfortunate event to profit their own worthless lives, well let us animals have them. I can almost taste their gonads in my mouth, (that does not sound right, but I hope you get the gist of what I am trying to say).
All I can do from my part, as the boss will not let me go down there to help, is hopefully raise your spirits through my own special brand of humour, because as you know, all the 'chocolate crusader” wants to do is have a little fun, so here goes.
After listening to some of televisions inane reporters and channel surfing, I decided to spice up television viewing by coming up with my own programmes, so here goes…
• Survivor Rangiuru - what happens when a Labrador is cast adrift in the boning room at the Freezing Works.
• Top Gear - What I used to hear, before the Vet got hold of me.
• Constipation Street - the day after a round of all the rubbish bins in my area.
• Location Location Location - with my new G.P.S system I have charted all my buried bones.
• The Big Bang Theory - what happened to the beach ball all those years ago.
• Play School - Keeping it cool until after school.
• Allo Allo - what the boss says to me as I am trying to quietly open the cupboard door, in which my nuts are stored, mmmmm that's not correct either, but you know what I mean.
• Black Adder - What 'Ralph” the cat should be called as he is a poisonous piece of work.
• Who Do You Think You Are - This may surprise you, but my Mother was a bitch.
• CSI Te Puna - No one can get past my forensic ability.
• Dog Whisperer - Speak up you fool, don't you know who you are talking too, and hey I do what I do.
• An Idiot Abroad - Well I wish a few around here would watch this programme.
• Sons of Anarchy - Yeah my favourite, biker bitches and tattoos, (just kidding).
• Piha Rescue - lads in Speedos rescuing idiots from abroad, makes good drama, but you know how I feel about Speedos, a little like my nails on a blackboard really.
• Country Calendar - yeee ha - where you see dogs like me doing what we do best, well I am yet to see an episode with a rather large Labrador's head stuck in a rubbish bin, but plenty of hay and the Topp Twins.
• Super Size Me - nah already there.
I am sure you can come up with many more, and it is only my take on a few shows I have seen lately. Now if you are looking for a good show, get down and see Johnny boy and his mates at the bestest butcher shop in town, he will always have something to show you either his big rump or his sore loins, either way, it's the place you get the best meat in town.

Eyeing up the rib-eye
Ingredients
4 rib-eye steaks
Chilli powder
Cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper

Method
In a small bowl combine the chilli powder, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper. Adjust the ratio of these spices to your preference.
Preheat barbecue to high heat. Place rib-eye steaks on a large platter and season with the spice rub.
Transfer seasoned steaks to the hot grill and cook for 4-6 minutes on each side for medium-rare (longer if desired). Remove steaks and let rest for 5-10 minutes before serving.
Alrighty my good people, get your hands in your own pockets, and dig out a few dollars for the good folk in Christchurch, we are Kiwis and we band together and help each other in bad times, its just what we do.
See you all next week.