Ady Breeds Dog's Breakfast www.sunlive.co.nz

This old Proclaimers song was what the boss was trying to sing while we were trudging back to transportation on the weekend.

When we started off, me and uncle could see our reflection in the ute tailgate. It wasn't like that by the time the lads had ‘navigated' their way inland.

I am not really sure though, as his singing gets a little messy and sounds very similar to the noise he made at his last prostate check up. I know; I was outside. And the sound of rubber gloves being snapped even made me wince.

It was a fine sunny morning and with mounting excitement on everyone's part, we were off to shoot upland game, very 'what oh”, with boss and uncle looking like English country squires decked out in tweed. Well maybe not, as I cannot imagine these boys going for all that palaver.

Our saving grace was a little bit of German kit, namely a Volkswagen Amarok – kindly lent to the lads by Farmer Auto Village to test drive for our Coast & Country magazine. Corker.

Cunning plan

I was tucked up in the back and the lads were sorting out their usual cunning plan, well what could go wrong ah?

After reaching our destination and having a go at the traditional bacon and egg pie and a little liquid fortification, we were into it. Into nothing it turned out as I was bouncing around from bush to bush, doing my thing – trying to flush out game and the lads kept walking and walking.

As the conversation and humour was starting to wane, with no quail, pheasants or even a rabbit to be found, it was time to turn around and march back.

That was fine for a young thing like me, but the boys are getting along in years – and here is were the grumbling and singing started.

A good point was raised by me: How come you guys expect me to come bounding over the sand dunes when you whistle, yet you smart two-leggers – who have supposedly gone to the moon – have not yet invented a vehicle that when you whistle or phone, cannot come and get you?
Very poor.

So after another hour's walking and more bad singing (wailing), we arrived back to the splendid bit of German engineering.

With guns secured, me in the back ready for sleep and the boys fed and lubricated, it was time to do a little off-road four wheel driving. Now as you know, boys will always be boys and it was a little like me being given a chook to chase; the lads were into it.

Up steep hills, through mud – the Amarok did the bizz and the best bit was I did not even wake up.

Well wouldn't you know it, not a pheasant sighted all day, then just five minutes into our journey home through the forest the damned things were flying from everywhere, playing chicken (oops) with the grill of the Amarok. Talk about getting the boys steamed up. They will live to fly another day, but be warned, we know were you live and as Arnie said to Pam; 'I will be back.”

A good day was had by all and as with any great day in the outdoors, sleep was greatly appreciated when we finally reached home.

I hope you all have been down to see Animal Antics to make sure you can match up dogs and owners.

I hope you can pair me up with someone who sings better and does not keep stealing the duvet.

Take it easy all and have fun out there; safe fun that is.