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Roger Rabbits with |
It’s a bit of a pig.
And no matter how much lip stick and mascara we smear on it, it still oinks.
What a shame. What an embarrassment. Because Tauranga Domain is a divine setting. Our own Garden of Eden. Also set at a crossroads – not Biblical rivers but motorways and byways. And ‘every tree that is pleasant to the sight.’
But still, the city, the country’s 5th biggest, the country’s busiest port and fastest growing regional economy, probably deserves better.
Tauranga Domain – a “premier park” according to the Tauranga City Council website. ‘Premier’ meant second-to-none, outstanding, top-tier when this bunny went to school. So don’t we need to build something to fit that pitch, or, as they say, temper the idealism with the realism.
When an NPC team comes to town, Bay of Plenty rugby breaks open the wardrobe and tarts up the old girl in her best party dress. Like they did with Northland and the Naki recently. Rugby does it well – with what they’ve got.
Out comes the Meccano set, a temporary scaffolding grandstand glitzed up with exotic pagoda roofing, hospitality tents, obligatory portable dunnies and sundry concessionaires. So pee, pie and pigskin (used to be) – all bases covered, but you still can’t hide the pig.
You pay your money and park your butt on piles-inducing cold concrete because the few proper seats are already occupied by butts.
It’s a main stand that had its heyday half a century ago – Tuesday August 10, 1971, when 23,000 packed a “picture postcard” Domain, according to the BOP Times of the day, to see Greg Rowlands and BoP have a crack at the British Lions. Sleepy town only had 36,000 residents that year.
Built in 1962, the main stand is no longer fit for purpose. Five years ago it was deemed to be “old and tired” by a council officer. It hasn’t got any younger or less tired.
A visiting player was once heard to opine – “Hate playing in Tauranga. Sleep in a s****y hotel, change in a s****y grandstand, then struggle down a concrete staircase in your studs. Great.”
Talk to the punters, their wants and needs are modest. “We don’t need a boutique stadium. But we do need a stand.” Because the only stand is “a dunga” and “ripe for the wrecking ball.” Traditionalists are happy as long as they’re wearing the kit, have a beer in hand and are watching their beloved Steamers. And why wouldn’t we right now. Results work for any team.
The main stand is our answer to Hobbiton. Come see where the Hobbits lived before they went to Matamata. Players disappear into the bowels of Only Stand where change rooms are hideously cramped – “like a concrete remand cell,” I was told by someone who’s crept down that burrow. “Wouldn’t be out of place at Mt Eden Prison.” Welcome to Tauranga Domain. Or sell visits to cruise line passengers – “get a sense of old fashion geopolitical tension - tour a Cold War nuclear shelter.”
I also heard another story, perhaps urban myth, both hilarious and sad, about facilities, or lack of them. “At one NPC game, a radio DJ mouthed a siren sound into his mic to signal half and full-time.” You couldn’t make that story up. But things have improved I am told.
Now let’s play venue envy. Because while the ‘Naki’ shuffled off home 13 point losers from their visit to Tauranga Domain the other day, they deserved to feel a bit smug.
New Plymouth, NZ’s 11th biggest city, population 89,000, about half the size of Tauranga - had vision.
“ ….the best regional stadium in New Zealand that regularly hosts local, regional, national and international sports and entertainment.”
That’s what the Naki’s Yarrow Stadium redevelopment blurb tells us.
A budget of $70 million with a ratepayers contribution of $50 million. Locals were consulted and said go for it. It blew out to $79.7 million but not so much as a groan.
Taranaki, cow country, Bulls’ country, beaten on game day in Tauranga but out and out winners with their vision. Custodians of the Ranfurly Shield for the summer. And it’ll be breadcrumbs v cowbells in the NPC playoffs against Waikato at Yarrow tomorrow. It’s also due to host a concert for 30,000 – a real ‘winter of content.’
Then Northland came to town – Whangarei, another city with vision. Two thirds the size of Tauranga, but with that gob-smacking $30 million internationally renowned Hundertwasser Art Centre because culture isn’t an indulgence in that city, it’s a must have.
And just down the road at Semenoff stadium Northland rugby fans sit in a $16 million redeveloped multi-purpose events centre. It’s hosted international league, the New Zealand Maori, Northland games against the Lions, Tonga, Samoa and Fiji and was a 2011 Rugby World Cup venue. More recently the 2017 Lions began their New Zealand tour at Semenoff Stadium.
Best Tauranga could manage was being home away from home for the Dutch in the 2023 Women’s World Cup. A base, but not a venue.
It won’t change anytime soon. But remember they said Blake Park would never happen. It just took a few visionaries with an unshakeable faith.
Meanwhile I will pat the pig tomorrow. I will be at the Domain for the Steamers’ quarter final. Then, if we win, I will probably drag myself off to Rotorua Stadium for what will probably be a night home semi because Tauranga Domain doesn’t have lights. Damn!