Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

The election is coming up later in the year and it's become fashionable to decide which parties we'll be prepared to work with.

Mr Key has said he's pretty happy with The Maori Party, United Future and (the remnants of) Act.

He's also taken a bit more liking to NZ First – although Winston is not having a bar of any of this pre-election buddy-up talk.

He'd rather wait to see who gets elected, then spring the surprise alliances on the public. Trouble with that is; you might inadvertently end up with the very
noddies in power that you were hoping to avoid.

All sounds like a bit of a raffle to me. I reckon the country needs a bit more certainty about who we are electing, rather than some sort of musical chairs game in which any bozo could end up running the country.

Meanwhile the RR team has been considering our party options. We had a pretty good Mexican Party a few years ago, although we won't be rushing into the tequila again any time soon.

There is no interest in holding hands with the Egotistical Fat German Rich Boy Party.
The Birthday Party was looking like a good option for a while, but we've had too many of them so are choosing to ignore any future ones. The Garden Party was weeded out early on.

We're declining to work with the Tupperware Party; their fate is sealed.

The Hen Party was shaping up as a likely coalition option, until we discovered they were all chooks, under them were eggs and their thinking was scrambled.

The Batchelor Party proved incapable of forming any meaningful long-term relationships.

The Coming Out Party's policies were pretty queer. The Toga Party was keen, but we don't want to get tied up with them.

A friend of a friend suggested these guys, but we haven't heard from them directly:The Third Party.

Then without warning, along came The Surprise Party.

Simply isn't cricket

There's been a bit of teeth gnashing going on this week over the affordability of houses in Tauranga.

Bizarre, really, since they are nowhere near as expensive as Auckland.

Besides, if you've worked hard and saved hard and gone without a few luxuries, and bought early and sensibly, you'll be in a house of your own.

That's how it works. Not everyone can afford a house because some people have other spending priorities, or don't work; and find that if they have chosen other things to spend money on, other than getting a house as soon as they can, now find they're a bit pricey. Bad decision. That's the way the market works.

Those who smoke, drink, travel, have flash cars, boats, whatever – before they've sorted a house, will no doubt find that houses are yes, expensive. Those who scrimped and saved, and got in early, are now happily tucked up in their own homes.
Bit of a lesson here?

I've a few mates who elected to travel, drink up large at Oktoberfest, sink warm pints in London, ski Mammoth – you name it. That's fine, if that's your choice. But don't come complaining to the rest of us who elected to invest early and wisely. We are now reaping rewards earned, in many cases, many years ago, while you were trying to impress the Swedish waitress and relieving your Euros up against a wall somewhere.

Catch it if you can

Besides, if you'd been to the cricket in Hamilton and bought the T shirt and caught a couple of balls single-handed, you'd have the deposit by now.

Having that settled, it's time to watch the cricket. The best thing that has happened to the game is the Alternative Commentary Collective, a bunch of clowns including Leigh Hart, Jeremy Wells, Beige Brigade co-founder Paul Ford, comedian Ben Hurley and some other really funny dudes.

Great to watch TV muted and listen to these plonkers doing the commentary live on the radio. Unscripted, spontaneous, rude and clever.

And if that isn't enough irreverence for the week, remember Paul Henry is back on TV from Monday, replacing the old Nightline on TV3. Bring it on.

Bog snorkelling

In other sports news, it's come to our attention that the Welsh are keen on their Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling.

Just like jet sprinting in a stadium, they've made it their own signature event.
We have the same opportunity at Baypark this weekend, when a perfectly good rugby field is being demolished for a weekend of watersport carnage – jet sprint racing. And it should be amazing!

The concept of digging up the local rugby field to make a pond to race boats upon, has thrilled some in the community and horrified others.

Some of the rugby stalwarts think its sacrilege to put a digger through the revered in-field, for the sake of a one-off motorsport event.

Here we think it's a great idea, especially since the rugby field isn't exactly hallowed turf. The city needs a better venue for rugby, and many remained unconvinced of the suitability of Baypark.

The domain has always been the logical choice, except for its major Achilles' heel – it doesn't have the parking. Unless the proponents can magic up 10,000 carparks from somewhere, or scheme up a slick ‘park and ride' system between satellite parking areas, I can't see that pig flying either.

World first, unique venue

Shame, because then we could leave Baypark with the jet boat ponds and the whole place could revert to its original purpose – a motorsport venue. And the jet boating venue with a stadium would be a unique venue that finally, Tauranga could lay claim to as a point of difference.

So I guess in the meantime it's Baypark or nothing and we know the digger bloke is a clever fellow; I'm sure Colin Amrein and the team can restore the pitch to bowling green flat again for the footie, after the jet boats have finished marauding.

Either that or we'll have to forget about the rugby and get our mountain bikes out for a bit of bog snorkelling with the Mud Wrestling Party.

brian@thesun.co.nz