All sorts of bitches are jumping of the net, talk about Internet dating, it's a thing of the past. All you repressed dogs out there let me set you up with one of my supporters.

The first of our photo entries for Bitch of the Year nominations: The boss in London, in bed with Victoria Stilwell (he wishes!) and Holly the Boxer putting the 'Me or the Dog” threat to the test. And wins. A right bitch!

Let's call it all part of the service I can offer. It is getting to be a big ask even for a red blooded chocolate crusader like myself to spread myself around.
The only thing that is keeping my energy levels up are my mate Johnny's bones, and on that subject I will go and dig one up for my afternoon nana nap, just to replenish myself for a weekend of carousing down here at The Strand.
Even my other two legger mate, Daz, from our kitchen, is giving me the odd morsel or two, as he knows that the best thing to keep it up is food. Some of the platters that pass me by even make me swoon.
Hell even Fifi has sent me another photo. I do not know what this bitch is up to as I ask you, can you trust the Frenchies? The last time I got involved with this bitch I ended up jumping out of her bedroom window when her other paramour the Colonel came home. My pride is still dented as why
the hell was it not him that had to scarper?
I am a little sceptical about getting involved with her again. So my four legged friends, any takers? Typical of her Prima Donna French attitude to use me to get her picture in the paper. Ah well what the hell. They cannot blow me up, I am a Chocolate Warrior, not a Rainbow one.
Keep those pictures rolling in bitches, as I am sure someone can satisfy your desires. On the note of desires I am sure my old mate Johnny from the Aussie Butcher can put your fire out with anything along the meaty lines, that is.
He has some great delights on special this week including steak mince so on that note let's give this recipe a go.

Fifi Don't Burn Your Buns

Ingredients
450g steak mince
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 tsp paprika
50g soft butter
1 Tbsp chopped parsley
1 Tbsp chopped chives
T Tbsp lemon juice
½ tsp celery salt
1 day old bread roll
2 egg yolks
2 Tbsp oil
4 Hamburger buns
Handful of lettuce
2 tomatoes, sliced

Method
Season mince with salt, pepper and paprika and leave it to stand in a bowl in the refrigerator for 15 minutes. Cream the butter in a small bowl.
Work in the chopped herbs, lemon juice and celery salt and leave in the fridge to become firm. Soften the roll in cold water for 10 minutes, squeeze out the excess moisture then work it into the mince with the egg yolks. With wet hands shape the mixture into eight thick hamburgers.
Heat the oil in a large frying pan, brown the hamburgers on each side, then reduce the heat for a further 10 minutes, until cooked. Arrange the hamburgers on a hot plate, cut the tops open and fill with herb butter and fill hamburger buns with lettuce and tomato.