I have only just got over the last hump (from the camel that is) and what do you know? I am in the deepest trouble again.

If any of you were confused by my camel rant last week, get down to Wharf Street and you will see this wooden thing Henri, tethered to a lamp post. But on to more serious things…
I have been banished to outer Siberia by the Boss's apprentice. (Mind you, those Russian bitches are not too bad on the eye, so there is an up side).
The poor boy has been toiling away in this heat and when he finally decided to sit down for a night in to watch the television, he thought he had everything sorted. Drinks, a big pottle of Memphis Meltdown double chocolate ice cream, some fancy almond biscuits, and a few other treats – hell and nothing for me!
I was pretty miffed about him spooning ice cream into his mouth, but being the cunning boy I am, I knew an opportunity would arise.
Sure enough, what do you know, the telephone goes and up the old fella gets, cursing and whining, answers the phone and walks outside. There before my eyes was all this food. I am in, and proceed to demolish the lot. He arrives back inside to see only empty cartons, a clean teaspoon and a few crumbs. This lad is not as green as he is cabbage-looking and very quickly deduces it was me. Smart fella.
There is an elderly couple next door who I am sure would not have appreciated his verbal assault on me.
Ah well, a few nights outside never hurt anyone and it was well worth it but I do not think the man has recovered yet. I am still keeping out of his way, especially when he tripped over my water bowl in the middle of the night. It has been a fun week so far, I can tell you.
If the old fella thinks he has a beef with me, you should see what my old mate Johnny at the Aussie Butchers has got on special this week. Beef, beef and more beef, so get on down to Gate Pa and get in your supplies. In the mean time let's give this recipe a go.

'How to Stir Your Beef'

Serves 4
Ingredients
Marinade:
5 tsp peanut oil
1 tsp sesame oil
2 cloves garlic, crushed
2 tsp chilli paste
550g beef schnitzel or rump
1 tsp peanut oil
1 carrot, peeled
1 stalk celery, trimmed
1 red or yellow capsicum
1 cup snow peas
1 Tbsp sesame seeds
2 Tbsp soy sauce
4-5 Tbsp sweet chilli sauce

Method
Mix all the marinade ingredients together. Cut the beef into thin strips about 4cm long and toss in the marinade. Cover and refrigerate for minimum of 2 hours.
Cut the carrots, celery into even size strips. Halve the snow peas.
Heat the wok or frying pan for about 2 minutes until hot, then add the beef in batches and stir-fry 4-5 minutes. Remove meat from the wok. Stir fry the sesame seeds until they pop. Add the remaining oil with the vegetables and stir-fry 4-5 minutes. Return the beef to the pan. Add the sauces and heat through. Serve with noodles.
And of course something to rinse it all down with.

Highball
2 oz whisky
Ginger ale
Fill a highball glass with ice. Pour the whisky into the glass. Top with ginger ale.
Alrighty all, I must be off to try my hardest to behave for a few days. (Not bloody likely!) Remember, do it to them before they do it to you, and take it easy out there and please do check that camel thing out.