Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

The big news this week would have been Mr Cunliffe saying he would 'make” the Rena owners clean up their mess.

Unfortunately Mr Cunliffe hasn't done his homework. Rena is not the business of aspiring political leaders. It's in the hands of the BOP Regional
Council, and maybe the court.

If elected, Labour says they'd force Daina Shipping to remove the wreck from Astrolabe Reef. In reality he has more chance of 'making” world peace, eradicating haemorrhoids, re-incarnating Michael Jackson and getting Route K to turn a profit.

Because it's nothing to do with the government or wannabe government. They'd be bulldozing over the Regional Council and possibly the Environment Court in the process.

This makes Mr Cunliffe's pontificating a hollow and callous promise – that he can never fulfil. Either he doesn't understand how the process works or he is trying to mislead the people of the Bay.

Or both.

It's naive and fanciful to think this wreck will ever be completely removed. Experts have said how dangerous and complex it would be.

And the speculation about whether it would be a good dive wreck is irrelevant at this stage. The only consideration should be the environment; and if it so happens that leaving the wreck there turns out to be a dive attraction, then that's a small consolation.

However, it should not be a factor at this stage in deciding whether the whole wreck is removed, or not.

Yes, in a perfect world, the reef would be returned to its original pristine condition. Reality, however is that's incredibly unlikely. To play political games is irresponsible and dishonest.

Principals caned

Hats off to the region's school principals who battled at ASB Baypark at the weekend, for the SunLive Principals' Challenge. It was a great night, thanks to Baypark and the teams who made it possible. No, it wasn't a jack-up that the SunLive car won!

Sparks fly

Telecom's new name, Spark, is drawing fire from all quarters.
One caller to the RR Hotline of Silly New Company Names says it reminds him of the children's story of Sparky, the little fire engine. He reckons that this is probably appropriate, since Telecom's logo was obviously drawn by an angry child with a set of crayons on the lounge wallpaper.

But he wonders if other corporations will also change their names to storybook characters.

Can we expect to see the Port of Tauranga dubbed Little Toot?
Or Air New Zealand becoming Dumbo Jet (the Flying Elephant?)
Others have pointed out that a spark is the result of a technical failure. And others concerned at how it reads when spelt backwards.

Shocking news

A shocking story appeared in the news recently, when a bomb threat was made in Taupo. Police evacuated the court house and the museum. This is terrible news. I was shaken to the core. I mean, Taupo has a museum? And we don't!

Right royal snub

Kate and William and the royal sprog are visiting, not to Tauranga of course. No one of any significance comes here, except Strassman. All we get is the mundane (Oh no, not Cunliffe again). So it would be completely unreasonable to expect any royals to show up. We don't even get Billy Connelly. Or Bruce Springsteen. Why is it, that NZ's fourth largest city, and NZ's most desirable place to visit, is ignored by almost all celebrities and acts? Ah, it must be because we don't have a museum.

Join the queue

What is the fascination with this blobby excuse for an overstayer? Winston's been to see Dotcom. John Banks has been to see Dotcom. Even the jolly SAS have been to the mansion to see Dotcom. Is there anyone left in NZ who hasn't been to see Kim Dotcom? Just you and I, even the blimmin royals are probably going to see Dotcom.

F for Francis

In other news, the pope is reported to have dropped the Italian version of the F bomb, while appealing to the international community for a peaceful solution in the Ukraine. I wouldn't worry, Francis, it's going to take a whole lot more than a bit of papal cussing to stop the turmoil brewing there.

Feedback

We've had a bit of feedback on the gondola story from last week, a Maori friend confirmed that there's no way a gondola, or a gondolier, should ever be allowed up the Mount, 'not even if Tangaroa himself was poling it,” he quipped. Which got us thinking how that would look:

Gondola Part 2: Tangaroa strikes back.

Quote of the week:

From transgender former MP Georgina Beyer:

'I would have left with Tariana if I'd had the balls, quite frankly.”

Well, Georgina darls, you once had the balls... what more can we say?