Well this is not a dastardly feline story, but as it has to do with food and the boss man, I just had to let you all know about it.

Yesterday, the boss was at the local supermarket buying me a large bag of the best dog biscuits. He was in the line at the check out when a woman behind him asked if he had a dog. What the hell does she think I am—a bloody elephant? I know I'm putting on a little weight, but please! The old boss man though, as sharp as a knife, told her 'no he did not have a dog”, he was just starting a new diet. He added that he really shouldn't start up this dog bikkie diet again, as the last time he ended up in hospital. And even though he lost 20kgs, he awoke in intensive care with tubes coming out of every orifice and IVs in both arms.
He continued telling the spellbound woman that it was essentially a perfect diet. All you have to do is load your pockets with doggie treats and every time you are a little peckish, delve into your pockets and help yourself. By this stage, everyone in the checkout line was spellbound. The poor lady was horrified by the tale but asked him if he ended up in intensive care because he ate dog food. Quick as a flash, he replied 'no, it was not the dog food”, but that he stepped of a
curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear and was hit by a car.
He has subsequently been banned from that supermarket, and is probably going to be taken to task by the poor women when she recovers. You got to love the man's wit. I just hope he doesn't eat all the treats before he gets home or I will have something to say. And it will be a lot worse than a Setter's rear end.
Now onto the cat register, we have had a couple of corker replies to our plea for information, and I do so love
this one.

"Dear Diesel, I do like your column in The Weekend Sun, but I have some misgivings about this ‘Crusader' idea of yours. I advise you to go carefully. Here are some facts to gnaw on.
There are many well known ‘dastardly' cats in literature. Two recent ones are Scarface and Horse and you wouldn't want them in your dreams! Shortly there will be an invasion of cats at Baycourt. Some, no doubt, will be dastardly but us ‘two leggers' rather like them. Some of us, that is.
The cat has been admitted to Paradise as a playmate for the Saints – well, so has the dog (according to Goethe). Ask the boss about him.
Could there be a tinge of green around your eyes when you see Ralph on the boss's knee? Nurture your lovely chocolate Labrador nature and leave the business of dastardly cats to all those sufferers who fill up the Letters to the Editor page in the Sun.
May no catastrophe befall you.
Love you
Norah Hobcroft, Tauranga
PS I do have some connection with a group of witches"

Well, that's enough of my ranting for this week BUT I have some breaking news. That dastardly butcher from Gate Pa has bet me that his mob from over the ditch will kick the boys in blacks' buttocks this weekend. How anyone who runs round a footy field dressed in yellow can be expected to be involved in a manly pursuit like rugger is beyond me. They should stick to the knitting. Anyway, the Aussie boy has put his meat in his mouth, and is going to run a ‘pick the score' competition. So get in to the best butcher in town and put those idiots it yellow straight.
Write your score down with Johnny and if you win, a $35 meat voucher is all yours. Entries have to be with Johnny by 5pm on Saturday afternoon.

'Hawaiian sirloin'

Ingredients
4 sirloin steaks
1 500g can pineapple chunks
½ cup soy sauce
¼ cup brown sugar
1 clove garlic
2 teaspoons sesame oil
½ teaspoon minced ginger

Method
Drain juice from pineapple into a saucepan over low heat. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Allow to cool.
Place steak and pineapple chunks in a shallow dish and cover with cooled marinade. Refrigerate 2-3 hours, turning steak occasionally.
Grill to your desired temperature.

'Honolulu Juicer'

Ingredients
1½ oz Southern Comfort
3/4 oz dark rum
3/4 oz lemon juice
3/4 oz lime juice
2 oz pineapple juice
1 teaspoon sugar

Method
Combine everything in a shaker with ice.
Shake well and strain into a Collins or Highball glass over crushed ice.
Garnish with a pineapple slice.

Alrighty all, please keep sending me names of nasty 'pussies”, and go the mighty Abs, see ya all!