We decided to upset all the Roman sandal, kaftan wearers by not being PC.

As it was the boss' birthday, the two leggers got a crew of lads together, piled into the No. 1 The Strand van and headed for the hills. Well, in this case the Rotoehu Forest and the Equine Clay Bird park.
The lads looked like they were on a S.W.A.T team call-out, armed to the teeth, with black woolly hat things but unlike the S.W.A.T team, they reeked of rum. As with a lot of these male bonding road trips, before anyone could get into the van they had to have a tot of the Bob Marley juice. All except the apprentice that is, who was looking after me and driving.
As you can imagine, what started as good clean conversation degenerated so that before we got to Paengaroa, I was hiding my head under the bags containing the food. Just as well my little ‘cuzz' got left behind, as being at an impressionable age, she would have needed counselling after hearing these boys talk.
Upon arrival at our destination, the boys were hollering and laughing as they had never seen so many pheasants. Me, I just gazed out of the window, rolled my eyes and switched my attention back to the food bag.
Being smart, I knew I did not have to chase anything or exert any energy. All I had to do was stay as close as possible to the bag.
Anyway, out the lads piled, full of testosterone (yawn) to be introduced to Kim - the estate manager. Now, it is a long time since I have met someone who knows what the hospitality industry is all about and this guy was good. He got the boys sorted out with loud banging things and sent them on their merry way. The boss literally had to drag me away from the food bag. The claw marks will be left across the lawn for many a day.
By all the laughing and chatter going on, the boys were having a ball.
Four hours later they emerged out of the bush with grins a mile wide, no ammunition left and a little exhausted, to head for the van, food and the dark, dirty liquid.
This is where I came in. I helped the tired boys pull back the zipper on the tucker bag and do a taste test.
Hell, you would think I had taken a bite out of Ritchie McCaw's hamstring, I was dammed lucky they had no ammo left. As I would have been a sitting target, I was told to go and relieve myself on the electric fence. Huh, I am not that stupid.
After a few yarns, a good old nosh up and a few quiets, we paid our compliments to Kim for a fantastic afternoon, piled into the van and headed home.
I got shoved in the boot again. Never mind. With the smell of cordite, testosterone and smelly socks, this is what it is all about. Sigh. I was just about in heaven.
I say just about, as heaven would be being locked in my mate Johnny, the Aussie Butcher's meat chiller, and there are two shows of that happening. So, it looks like I will not be going to heaven anytime soon.
Now, Johnny boy has specials in store this week you would not believe. And it is all red meat, yahoo. So get along and see him at the big store in Gate Pa and partake in the last few days of birthday celebrations.

'Beef and red wine casserole'

Ingredients
500g diced blade steak
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 onion, diced
1 can condensed tomato soup
1 can chopped tomatoes
1 chilli, chopped (optional)
¾ cup red wine
1 carrot, sliced
1 parsnip, sliced
1 cup beef stock
1 pinch paprika
Salt and pepper

Method
Brown the beef, garlic and onion in a large pot. Add remaining ingredients and cook on low for approximately one hour. Adjust the consistency of the sauce by adding extra stock if too thick or a mixture of corn flour and water, if too thin. Serve with either spiral noodles or mashed potatoes and crusty bread.

Well, all you good folks, that's all from me this week. On behalf of the twoleggers (who have no staying power, as they are still in the recovery position), I would like to pass on my thanks to Kim at Equine Clay Birds, for a ripper of an afternoon. If you want a little male adventure get in touch with him, as I have added him to my list of good bastards.
Cheers all.