Now this story is of the weird and dangerous, from my cousin down south.

It seems Wilco, a Staffy-Ridgeback cross, was out doing a little recce for the up coming Cromwell rally. Well not really but it puts us intellectual canines in a good light. Anyway the story goes something like this.
Wilco was left alone in his twolegger's Chevrolet which was still running. What was poor Wilco to do? Take it for a spin, of course. Now having had lots of experience cruising the Canterbury Plains, with his head out the window and gums flapping, he new he could do this. So the boy dropped down a cog, or truthfully bumped the auto into drive. Cruising forward, the Chevy only stopped when poor Wilco spun out on the right hander (he thinks this was dew, oh dear, to the wet condition of the track), and went through a shop keeper's doorway, which was not open at the time.

Bad behaviour
The local constable says he's never attended a car crash involving bad driving by a canine (gee you think this is because we are all such great drivers or what?) also stated luckily, no humans were injured. What about poor Wilco? I am guessing has hung up his crash helmet and is now sticking firmly to the back seat.
The boys in blue are still investigating the accident, get over it we say.
Now onto brighter things, and it is just brilliant to see the sun, and I cannot wait to see all the bitches on the Strand, strutting their stuff and parading themselves in the rays. Bring it on, I am off for a cold shower.
Now Johnny boy my good mate at the Aussie Butchers in Gate Pa does not need a cold shower, as everytime I call into see him, he's in the chiller. Either he has some pretty serious lookers in his shop, or he is so busy getting his meat out to re stock his shelves, as his product is so good it keeps moving out his doors.
So get in and see the old fella and drag him out of the chiller. If you do not recognise him, he is the one with the squeaky voice.

'Slow roasted pork'

(with melted apples)
Ingredients
(Marinate overnight)
2kg boneless pork shoulder
1Tbsp fennel seeds, toasted and finely ground
2Tbsp black peppercorns
2 Tbsp fresh thyme leaves, lightly chopped
2 Tbsp fresh rosemary leaves, lightly chopped
4 medium garlic cloves, chopped
2Tbsp salt
4Tbsp olive oil
4 medium apples
1 medium yellow onion
Freshly ground black pepper
1 cup dry white wine

Method
Trim sinew and all but 6mm of fat from pork shoulder. Place on a sheet pan.
In a small bowl, mix together fennel seeds and next 6 ingredients (only use 2 Tbsp olive oil). Rub the mixture evenly over pork shoulder, inside and out, and wrap tightly in plastic wrap and marinate overnight.
Preheat oven to 230C.
Peel, halve and core the apples. Cut each half into four equal wedges and place in a medium bowl. Peel and trim the onions, cut into 12 thin wedges and mix with the apples. Toss apples and onions with remaining 2Tbsp olive oil and season with salt and pepper.
Place in the bottom of a Dutch oven and put marinated pork shoulder on top. Roast uncovered for 30 minutes. Turn the oven down to 160C and add the wine. Cover and roast for 2½ to 3 hours until the pork shoulder is very tender and pulls apart easily.

Serving
Transfer pork to a serving plate. If pan juices are thick, add enough water to loosen, then mash and strain. The apples will be so soft that they will break down. Strain sauce through a course strainer to refine texture if desired. Serves 4-6.
Okey dokey all, that's it for me, so dust of your thong and let's see you down on The Strand, as there is nothing nicer than me reclined on my bean bag. (Well if Ady has not ripped it to shreds) gazing out of my rheumy eyes at our future leaders, or are they all in 'Scarfiedom”, studying, yeah right.
Take it easy out there all, and catch you next week.