The boss, needing to unleash the ‘Great White Hunter' from deep within, headed for the Sun Media-sponsored fishing tournament, based at Lake Rotoiti Holiday Park, run by Chris and Keith Waddell.

That left me at granny's to unleash the ‘Great Brown Snorer' within. It had been a tiresome week so I was quite pleased to have a lazy weekend to snooze and rest my weary bones.
What got me thinking there was Granny's comments about the television rights for the 2011 Rugby World Cup.
I am going to put in a bid for the rights to screen our canine sport of 'catch the marsupial.”
The lads and I, in the commentary booth, will be dressed by Barkers and, when it comes to the opening toss, of course we will choose tails.
Here are the qualifiers so far:
Australia: ‘The Dingo Woofters' – at least the hooker will be safe.
England: ‘The Dozy Bulldogs' – will be rank outsiders as they are fat and lazy, and instead of catching the furry varmint will just drool.
Wales: ‘The Corgis' – not much hope here as they have been royally treated for too long and have lost the ‘coalface edge'.
South Africa: Suggestions please, as the only name I can come up with gives them an unfair advantage, ‘The Lions' – just overgrown pussies and I don't want to chase one this size.
Ireland: ‘The Setters' – now if my experience with Red is anything to go by, they are crazy bastards, and will be there at the bitter end, tearing up the spoils.
France: ‘The pampered poodles' – this team will be too interested in hitting the hair dressers.
Scotland: ‘The Kelpie Ratters' – this team will be there. They may be small, but any canine that will go down into dark places of murky repute has my respect.
Now onto the team that started all my ranting; New Zealand, ‘The Mixed Breeds'.
I have come up with this name because we are all here together, and no one should have an unfair advantage; as how can the playing field be flat, when, a side is using public funds to support their own issues? – never fair. I am onto it, and we canines want a slice of the pie.
Now talking about pies, my mate Johnny, the Aussie Butcher in Gate Pa, has all the ingredients to mix up the best pie imaginable (a little like our great country really).
So get on down, and see him, also, if you get there before me, please ask him if he would like to be the ref for the final.

'Moroccan Mince'

Ingredients
500g pork mince
1tsp each paprika, ground ginger, cumin and cinnamon
1 onion, chopped
1 carrot, sliced into thin strips
1 green pepper, deseeded and sliced
400g can chopped tomatoes, with juice

Method
Heat a heavy based pan, add the mince, paprika, ginger, cumin and cinnamon. Stir fry 5-6 minutes. Add the onion, carrot, green pepper and tomatoes with juice. Stir until boiling, lower heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Serve with couscous and salad.

'Bourbon Old-Fashioned'

Ingredients
1tsp sugar
2 dashes bitters
1tsp water
3oz bourbon

Method
Put sugar, bitters and water in a rocks glass. Muddle to dissolve sugar. Add one or two ice cubes. Pour bourbon into glass. Add more ice (if desired). Twist lemon peel for garnish or a cherry and orange slice.
I would just like to add that I am in full support of the entire cultural aspect of this great country. I just have a fundamental problem with an unfair advantage being given to one side.
Cheers all, and remember, do it to them before they do it to you.