During the last week there has been a strong focus on the subject of family violence in the events I've attended.

Shakti Ethnic Women's Support group opened their exhibition ‘Unbroken Spirit' with some powerful images on display at the Incubator in The Historic Village.

I also attended a Best Practice hui presented by Dr Neville Robertson from the University of Waikato; and on Thursday night at the Welcome Bay Community Centre, Jude Simpson gave a powerful presentation about the impact of family violence from a victim's perspective.

The message that came through strongly is family violence is still a pervasive, dark undercurrent in our communities. It has neither cultural bias nor age restriction, but mainly it affects women and children, although there is no denying men can be victims too.

When the power is unbalanced in any relationship there is potential for abuse. And with gender stereotypes somewhat inherent in us and culturally perpetuated, it can seem almost impossible to break the cycle. Children are especially vulnerable, and in the school environment we often find a link between a troubled child and a dysfunctional family.

What can we do as a community? The ‘Are You OK?' initiative, used by the Ministry of Social Development programme, shows if we ask the question at least we give a victim opportunity to admit their situation and find the strength to change it.

Of course, the irony of family violence for women is often they either choose to stay in, or leave, a violent relationship because of their children. The other thing we can do is show support for the Women's Refuge and Shakti, which are vital resources in our community, but always underfunded and full to capacity. And ask the question: Are you okay?