The big news this week would appear not to be groundbreaking shift in US policy toward stem cell research; the re-trial of Bain; or the Tauranga City Council's anguish over what to cut from the Ten Year Plan to avoid a ratepayer lynching.

Far more important, it seems, is the 50th birthday of Barbie and the comeback of Michael Jackson, whose bodies both contain, by percentage, the same amount of plastic.
The similarities don't stop there either. Both now have impossibly skinny features, are anatomically flawed and some would say, a pretty close match for IQ. Another common factor: most small boys don't really want to play undressing games with either of them.
Michael Jackson, (also aged 50) has caused a frenzy in London with his return to the stage. His fans are going mad with the prospect of hearing him after 12 years. But I suspect that for every one person that would like to see him live, there's probably ten who would like to see the opposite.
Barbie's special day was upstaged by the appearance on ‘Dancing with the Stars' of Rachel Burstein (pronounced Bursting) whose incredibly voluptuous body was literally bursting out of a catsuit outfit that defied all scientific theories of gravity, surface tension and challenged the tensile properties of synthetics.
Catsuit? Well the cat was nearly out of the bag. And there certainly wasn't room for the puppies.
It sent TV1's breakfast frontman Paul Henry into a hysterical meltdown – the sort of excitement not seen since Graeme Thorn's perm or Michael Jackson's invite to an eight year old's pyjama party.

Tight squeeze
This is an appropriate time to keep you abreast of what's happening at the city council.
Rachel's outfit is a fair illustration of what our city council is attempting to do: Contain some very large items within impossibly tight constraints.
The city's financial fabric is being stretched to the limit by a couple of very desirable and tempting features – which look nice but in reality are neither attainable for the average ratepayer – or sustainable.
The infrastructure just won't cope.

Sunday stroll
In other news this week, we're feeling very sorry for the police.
It seems they're so under-staffed, they don't even have resources to cordon off their own police station.
That's apparent after my wife Claire was threatened with arrest after accidentally walking into the middle of a bomb scare in downtown Tauranga. (Incidentally, it was after the package had been blown up)
We've always had a fantastic relationship with the police who do an amazing job considering the lack of staff and resources that they have to manage with. But this is a bit strange…
Claire was out for her regular Sunday afternoon stroll through the redoubt, exited onto Cliff Road and walked past the police station heading north.
She was stopped by a policewoman who launched into an interrogation and even threatened to breathalyse her.
Claire replied, 'Are you kidding? I'm only walking.”
The officer noted details and gave Claire a thorough checking out.
Upon discovering that she wasn't wanted for arrest, or a known bomber; habitual cordon breaker or notorious jay-walker, the police then let her carry on walking down the road.
Arriving back at the Strand, Claire was quite astounded at her treatment. Sure, she had inadvertently walked into a bomb scare zone and was by now feeling pretty silly about it. But where were the cordons? Any member of the public could have walked through the rose gardens or the redoubt and ended up on Cliff Road or any of the neighbourhood streets.
As the absurdity of her treatment began to sink in, a whole range of other questions were being raised.
Since when did police breathalyse pedestrians?
If they can't successfully cordon off their own place, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Since when did respectable, law-abiding pillars of the community and business owners, out for a Sunday walk, become Public Enemy No.1 and need to be threatened with arrest?
Had it been her bolshie husband, I could understand. But we are talking about an innocent woman out for a Sunday stroll through the rose gardens, who is nauseatingly law-abiding, has never even had a speeding ticket and hardly looks like an al Qaeda terrorist.
Although there was that time she lost at Scrabble…