Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

The big news this week: NZ is getting its own space programme. It's been a while since we had a decent space programme; the last I remember were ‘The Jetsons', and ‘Lost in Space' with some quite alarming warnings coming from the robot: 'Danger, Will Robinson”.

Lately there have been a few interesting space forays; the most recent when Gerry Brownlee given a rocket. Of course the rocket wasn't quite where he was expecting it, having bungled his substantial frame through the wrong airport door and getting his butt kicked into orbit as a result.

Space, they say, is the final frontier. Which reminds me of the old story about Davy Crockett, who had three ears. A left ear, right ear and a wild frontier. But that's not important right now.

There is so much space out there; it must be hard to know where to start.

At least with the talent we have in this country for special effects, such as the brilliant team at Weta Workshop, we'll be able to fake some major space missions as good as anyone else in the world.

One particularly challenging space destination would be exploration of the Mana Internet party; here we see vast tracts of void, and no signs of intelligent life. Funded by a German so large in mass he exerts his own gravitational force attracting idiots; and Laila, the Klingon.

Reports this week suggest NZ will be using rockets to put satellites into orbit from next year, at a fraction of the average cost of launching from other parts of the world.
The carbon composite rockets are reported to cost less than $6m, whereas the average cost elsewhere is about US$133m.

The Kiwi space company, Rocket Lab, want 30 rocket scientists and a rural location for a launch pad.

We've suggested inland of East Cape, where many inhabitants have a head start – they're already sky high.

Fascinating that we can put satellites into space but can't get rid of a shipwreck on a rock, a railway line through the middle of town, pay our teachers on time, or add a couple of lanes to the Turret Rd bottleneck.

If we seriously wanted something propelled into orbit, the best option would be to ask Valerie Adams. Another gold medal and 53 unbeaten outings in a row. She's the girl to see if you want anything flung beyond the reach of gravity.

Different planet.

Meanwhile, the Green Party proved again they're on a different planet to the rest of ordinary thinking NZers, with a response this week from candidate Ian McLean, confirming my view that some of them are a hypocritical, condescending lot.
Check out the letter in this week's pages, and the RR response, on the letters page.

Are we good enough?

What's wrong with us, Clarkson? Aren't we good enough to be insulted?

Top Gear main man Jeremy Clarkson has insulted just about every other country in the world, yet Kiwis seem to have been left out.

His latest slur, if you want it to read it as such, supposedly happened during a Thailand special, at the River Kwai.

The Independent reports Clarkson used the word 'slope” in a play on words about a makeshift bridge that the programme had constructed across the river.

As an Asian man walked towards him, the presenter looked at the bridge and said:

'That is a proud moment... but... there is a slope on it”.

Clarkson received a ticking off from broadcasting watchdog Ofcom, but the BBC is reportedly standing by the presenter.

Clarkson's other controversial comments include allegations he used the N word earlier this year, which wasn't broadcast, while reciting the rhyme ‘Eeny Meeny Miny Moe'.
(Interesting aside here, any number of rappers can use the N word and for some reason it isn't deemed culturally insensitive. That in itself is racism).

Mr Clarkson has also upset the Indians by mocking their culture; and Mexico for making jokes about their national character. The French, Italians and Germans have probably given up complaining.

Here at RR we think the NZ Race Relations Commissioner, who is short of real work, should take up the issue with the BBC, as Clarkson has clearly insulted New Zealand by not insulting us.

We've been singled out as a nation not worthy of a cultural jibe.

To give credit where it's due, at least the Australians honour us with regular insults to remind New Zealand of how often they think of us. Even John Cleese has had a crack.

But not Clarkson. Bloody poms.