My mother always said ‘beware of anyone trying to get you on acid.'

The notion to mass medicate New Zealanders with folic acid in every loaf of bread is insane.
This column isn't about folic acid, it's about gutless government… Government that doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to stand up for the wishes of nine out of 10 New Zealanders to reject a draconian plan to mass medicate the whole country, for the sake of a handful.
Market research shows nearly 90 per cent of New Zealanders don't want folic acid added to their bread and a reader survey currently on www.sunlive.co.nz, the new local internet news service, reveals Bay of Plenty respondents are 94 per cent against.

Folic Folly
The RR engineering team is preparing ankle shackles and a vat of boiling folic acid solution, to dangle the hapless Food Safety (there's an irony) Minister Kate Wilkinson over, until she sees commonsense and agrees to act on the wishes of the vast majority. To hell with Australia, Kate. We don't want your folic acid mass medication. Now, stop wailing about breaking the rules and govern, like you were elected to do.
John Key promised strong government when he swept to power. We are not seeing it over this folic acid issue.
Food Safety Minister Kate has appeared particularly weak-kneed all week. Sue Kedgley had her squirming in front of TV cameras as it was revealed Kate didn't like the idea but reckoned she couldn't overturn the Aussie deal until October – a month after the mass medication was due to start.
Sure, the government has picked up a nasty piece of work from Annette King's dubious decision making.
Just because there's a deal with Australia doesn't make it right to perpetuate the foolhardy folic folly.
Make a stand, get hard. Tell the Aussies the deal is off, do whatever you like to your own bread. We are supposedly an independent nation, capable of deciding our own destiny and if the nation doesn't want to be mass medicated, we won't be forced into it.
Worse than that, it was revealed this week that the Aussie folic acid plan differs from New Zealand's anyway, with all Australian flour to contain the additive, not just bread.
No one argues the benefits of folic acid for pregnant woman. The issue is whether it's right to jam the stuff down the throats of every man, woman and child in the country, via every sandwich and slice of toast, whether we need it or not. The risks of folic acid to others, such as links to prostate cancer are not clear. And all for the sake of a handful of potential beneficiaries, who would have to eat 11 slices a day to get enough.
Just ask Mount Maunganui's Flaveur Bakery who reckon most bread is made so quickly, the acid won't even be absorbed. (See their story on SunLive.co.nz)
It raises the old fluoride argument all over again.
Where does the mass medication stop, then, if the folic acid plan is deemed acceptable?
Force feed Omega 3 to the entire population of four million on the off-chance it increases the brain power of 122 politicians? Or should we target the politicians. I bags being the first to ram a fish down
Should we then consider mass contraception in water supplies to combat unwanted teenage pregnancy?
Or for that matter, why not single out the most at-risk group of potentially unexpected pregnancies – include folic acid in Vodka Cruisers, since RR research suggests there's a high percentage of pregnancy following anything involving vodka.
Should every loaf of bread also be gluten free, for the health benefits of those of us who are intolerant or coeliacs? After all, the rights of gluten sufferers are no less important than unborn children and there's a damn sight more of us (and a lot of you haven't realised it yet). So why not ban the use of gluten in all food products?
Sharp knives cause countless injuries to New Zealanders, whether used in a sinister way or simply by accident. Hey, let's ban the sale of sharp knives. Only sell blunt ones.
Or, here's an idea. Encourage pregnant women and those intending to pop a bun in the oven, to take folic acid supplements, if they choose to. And leave the stuff out of our buns in our ovens. Just the same as parents of children can opt to give their kids fluoride supplements to improve the health of their teeth.
But mass medication? Sounds like something Hitler masterminded.
Again, there's a darkly sexist undertone of discrimination to this plan. It can only provide benefits to women, and a select group at that. Mass medication of folic acid provides nothing I know of for men. In fact the chances are, it has some negative prospects. Some studies suggest it could take 20 years for detrimental effects on prostate to show. Worse than that, who eats the most bread? Young men. The medication isn't even targeting the right group.
And why is it women seem to get more health effort – no free screening for prostate cancer but endless campaigns and subsidy for cervical and breast cancer?
Another hangover from the previous anti-men, lesbian-leaning left-wing loonies in government, I suspect.
Keep your folic acid out of my bread, thanks. If my foetus needs it, I'll sprinkle it on my toast as required.

Feesh and Cheeps
You have to wonder how the conversation went between John Key and Kevin Rudd, when our PM phoned to try to weasel out of the Joint Food Safety agreement…
PM Key: 'Hello Kevin, it's John here from Nuzullin, we need to talk about this folic acid thing.”
PM Rudd: 'Sure, John, what's the problem, mate?”
PM Key: 'Well, it seems most Nuzulliners don't want it. It would be political suicide to go ahead with this law of Annette's. Can you let us off the hook on this one, Kev?”
PM Rudd: 'Fair suck of the pav, mate... what about our other deals, such as the Joint Pronunciation Accord? Crikey, you Kayways gonna welsh on that too?”
PM Key: 'Ah, Kev, what's the Pronunciation deal?
PM Rudd: 'Annette also promised you Kayways would sort out this Feesh and Cheeps nonsense. That your primary skewools would start teaching the proper way to speak.”
PM Key: 'Oh no, and don't tell me… you want folic acid in the fush and chups?”
PM Rudd: 'Yeah, digger, and in our pavlova.”

Thanks
The biggest brickbat of this whole saga, however, must go to Annette King for creating the problem in the first place. How can we thank her enough? Well, there's always ankle shackles and the boiling vat of acid solution. Seems a shame to waste it on just one hapless politician.