Here at RR headquarters, we are urging the people of this region to prepare for a heightened level of terrorist alert.

Now some of these names are a little subtle, and you're going to have to work through the pronunciation till you figure it; just work with me here.
Our intelligence sources report that an offshoot of Al Qaeda, the group Al Faletha, is plotting a series of strikes against iconic Bay of Plenty landmarks and facilities.
We have a list of suspects and recommend that if you see any of these wanted people, report them to authorities immediately.

Atollah Notfahim: Will attempt to travel the Route K expressway without paying; a known cohort of Aytollah Yahiway who plans to extort funds from people travelling the eastern corridor.

Awana Mhuseem: Part of a group attempting to extract money from the population to further their own agendas. Cannot operate without: Ikup Yaraits.

Sumdude bin Afharteen: Known for deadly gas attacks, thought to be plotting against the council chamber. May be an ally of Houda-El Dropdhat and Ah-let Wunrip.

Grahbis Balsak: is notorious for a peculiar method of assaulting individuals, has been known to associate with Grohpya Missahs and Bin Feelin Yamutha.

Raitchek Bowen-Singh: Of Jewish-Indian descent, now an operative who infiltrates local authorities and attempts to cripple them by strangling their income sources.

Peedin Bhaywaiv: Specialises in polluting highly-patronised public facilities.
Similar modus operandi to Russian mountaineer and high-level ecological terrorist, Imayd Yellarshnow.

Khar bin Futpruent: following a mythical rebel leader, Gloeb El Warmin. Skeptics say El Warmin may be dead, since he hasn't been sighted for about eight years, or he may have been a figment of the imagination of charismatic, fanatical rally leader, Mistah El-Gore.

Known for civil disruption is a rowdy group headed by former French agent, Pisston de Strand, he's gone AWOL from the Foreign Legion, and has a binge drinking problem.
Hangs out with Samawan bin Ralfin, Ahmed Ahmess, and disgraced former US marine, turned terrorist sympathiser, Chuck Overall.
A particularly nasty fugitive, voted most unwanted by 96 per cent of readers, is Folek Ahsed, threatening to infiltrate your toast around breakfast time. He's so bad, he's just been banned by the Government for three years. May work in same way as operative known for infiltrating water supplies, Flu Ahrai-Ed.
Also be on the lookout for suicide bombers Mohammed McClary, from Al Saed's Dairy; and Hussein McLay, if he's not blown away. Ceefour Pits, who's blasted to bits, and Jihad Claw who explodes through the door.

Meanwhile, there are reports of a sudden decrease in suicide bombings since the appearance of Susan Boyle on worldwide television. Reliable sources tell us it's because the would-be bombers have lost all motivation, now they know what a virgin really looks like.