Landmines at Mount Maunganui? How bizarre! My good friend Mal, the manky Mount malamute, tells me the boys in blue had several blocks cordoned off this week.

My other Mount buddies Bo and Duke thought they were in for some fireworks. Trust those staffies to turn a serious bomb threat into a neighbourhood festival of entertainment. They were sitting out in their deckchairs pointed toward Oceanbeach, with the popcorn, hotdogs (haha) and long sipper drinks, waiting for the big boom.
Well bad luck for the thrillseekers, and fortunate for the builders, it turned out to be an old hotplate buried in the sand, not a landmine after all.
If you folk want to see what a real landmine looks like, check out the ones I've been laying on the back lawn. They are enough to blow away a Panzer tank.
And speaking of tanks, the boss has been test driving a few bitchin' pieces of machinery lately.
There's nothing brings a smile to an old dog's dial more than the sight of the boss rocking up in a ute.
Utes were made for dogs. Whip back the torno, tie me in – I can't wait to sniff the breeze at 100km/h with my handsome ears a-flappin' and my macho tail a-waggin'.
This week seemed like a match made in heaven. Men, dogs, guns and a ute. Off to the hills to tell tales and shoot at flying pottery. Well it seemed all good till the tailgate shut with me on the wrong side. I got told to stay home and watch for insurgents.
The boss took charge of the latest Triton, thanks to Aaron and the team at Mitsubishi. It was loaded up with mates and a 'picnic” and off they went to Equine Sporting Clays at Pongakawa.
Diesel on guard
I got left to guard the ranch, but it sure sounds like they had a great time.
Give me one chance to jump on when that tailgate's down, and I'll be riding shotgun for the next trip!
If any of you lads need some provisions for your gun totin' outdoor excursions, check out the specials at the Aussie Butcher. They say he's a rissole short of a picnic.
There's also fresh NZ pork roasts, loin chops and pork slices. Enough to make you squeal.
Till next week, take care out there, identify your target, treat every gun as loaded and watch for those landmines.

Orange maple glazed chops

Ingredients
4 pork loin chops
Seasoned salt
Pepper
3 Tbsp flour
2 Tbsp olive oil
¼ cup maple syrup
1 Tbsp light brown sugar
1 lemon, juiced
1 orange, juiced

Method
Season the pork chops on both sides with salt seasoning and pepper. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Cook the chops for approximately five minutes on each side, until nicely browned.
In a cup or bowl, combine the maple syrup, brown sugar, lemon juice and orange juice. Add syrup mix to the pork chops.
Cover and cook for 15 minutes, turning three or four times to keep the chops coated with the syrup.
Uncover and cook five minutes longer, turning once or twice.

Apples to oranges

Ingredients
1 oz apple brandy
1 oz Dubonnet
1 oz triple sec

Method
Fill a shaker half full with ice cubes. Pour all ingredients into shaker and shake well. Strain into a cocktail glass and serve.