Thanks for the flash new rug grandma, and for looking after me for the upcoming winter months.

I know it looks like I get the red carpet treatment, and I can even take the gibes from the mad German, who has been throwing around comments like: 'Diesel you old canine, looks like you are sleeping on a dead ginger cat.”
Yeah, well, we don't all get spoilt like her, and get to sleep on a warm bed.
I reckon when you get to my age, you deserve a few home comforts, so go grandma I say, and with the Easter weekend upon us, I cannot wait for a few of those stray Easter eggs to be tossed my way.
Okay, they will not be tossed, as I got in hot water last year for stealing a packet out of the cupboard, and keep getting told that they are no good for me. Who cares, they will not be able to see them, especially the ones with the orange insides as they will be well camouflaged on my new mat.
I would like to wish all you twoleggers out there a great Easter, and if you are travelling, keep safe and remember the old Big D adage: Make sure you do it to them before they do it to you.
I will be patrolling The Strand, making sure a few of you unruly idiots out there leave alone the taxi drivers and the girls that just want to have fun.
For the life of me I do not know why some idiot twoleggers would want to assault a taxi driver. They are only offering a service and trying to get you home safe, some of you need to think a little before you act, and not let the ‘Jungle Juice' ruin the evening for a lot of folks.
Now for all you good folks wanting to get a little something for the last barbecue of the summer, get on down and see my old mate Johnny the Aussie Butcher in Gate Pa for some succulent morsels, remember though, he is only open a couple of days over the long weekend so get down quick and stock up.

Honey baked chicken

Ingredients
1 No.20 fresh chicken, cut into pieces
½ cup butter, melted
½ cup honey
¼ cup prepared mustard
1tsp salt
1tsp curry powder

Method
Preheat oven to 180C. Place chicken pieces in a shallow baking pan, skin side up. Combine the melted butter, honey, mustard, salt and curry powder and pour the mixture over the chicken. Bake for 1hr 15min, basting every 15 minutes with pan drippings, until the chicken is nicely browned and tender and the juices run clear.

Beach-tini

Ingredients
1oz coconut rum
3/4oz vodka
1oz pineapple juice
1 dash grenadine

Method
Combine rum, vodka and pineapple juice in a shaker.
Shake until frothy and pour into a martini glass. Add a dash of grenadine to the centre (it will sink and look layered) and garnish with an orange wheel.
Okey dokey its back to the sumptuous red carpet for me, so take it easy out there and have a little fun, and maybe I will see you down on The Strand.