Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

The country has been largely distracted by the rock‘n'roll lifestyle of our local international star drummer, meanwhile a killer has quietly slipped out the back door.

AC/DC's Phil Rudd has effectively had his reputation sullied worldwide, even before any court has had a chance to decide his innocence or otherwise and a major charge was dropped.

But the inference was headlined around the world at the speed of fibre optics. I always thought that in this country a citizen was innocent unless proven guilty, but it seems the more famous you are, the better the mud sticks – even in cases that are not proven; in fact, when a charge is chucked out.

There are legal implications in discussing any case that is before the courts. But it needs to be said that in the Rudd example, the guy has been more or less dragged through the worldwide court of speculation and sentenced by social media ignorance before anyone has had a chance to put a case or stage a defence.

If he'd been an average Joe, such as a newspaper columnist from Te Puna, the majority of the world wouldn't care less whether he'd been charged or not, with attempting to hire a hitman.

Make a list

It's a subject for another day - who would be on our hit-lists. Near the top would be the inventor of the chatter ring; the clown who introduced possums to New Zealand; and anyone in possession of a vuvuzela.

If Rogers was charged there would be much less an impact on my life as a humble newspaperman, than the effect on Phil's life, as a world-renowned performing artist.
And the tragedy is, he's no different than a whole lot of dudes living remarkably similar lifestyles and as far as I know, not much of a threat to the public.

Most newsrooms will disagree with me, because it ruins a great story, but I reckon there's a case for names to be suppressed until trial in some cases. Or until proven guilty.

In an age when allegations fly, anyone can make a wild accusation against anyone; and the more famous the supposed offender, the more damage. Even if the claims are proven false. (Not to prejudice the outcomes of any current court case here, we're talking generally, you understand).

While we've been sidetracked with the rockstar shock and horror headlines, a convicted murderer has gone AWOL and snuck out of the country on a phony passport.

Convicted killer and child abuser Phillip ‘Smith' left on a plane, with a passport obtained in his birth name, then recaptured in Rio this week. The people running the passport checks must be the same crowd who check for bent bananas.

While he's clearly no loss to New Zealand, and some would be pleased if he never returned, we have to feel apologetic to Chile for our inept border controls allowing him to slip away. The only upside is we might save the hundred grand a year it costs to keep a prisoner in luxury.

I guess it could be considered one of our more successful exports to South America.

They drive among us

A greater concern is ISIS. If you consider yourself safe in New Zealand, think again.
I saw one of the terrorists driving blatantly down Elizabeth St this week, clearly labelled on his Toyota hatchback: Isis.

Deciding to shadow this brazen deathmonger and sort him out, he eventually pulled into the side street by the yoga club and the art and craft centre.

Clever! Disguise yourself as a harmless old man, pursuing arts and crafts, while secretly plotting death and destruction to the infidels of Tauranga.

It's not the first time crafters have harboured dodgy suspects. We all remember the Spinners and Weavers saga from a few years ago.

Pulling up a safe distance from the suspect, I observed as he ambled across the carpark. He wasn't going to practise the downward dog position at yoga or even knit piggy squares. He was heading for the rifle club!

So Isis has infiltrated the rifle-shooting fraternity and possibly even the Legion of Frontiersmen. And here they are, practising their firearms skills right under our noses.
Seizing the opportunity to confront the terrorist, I carefully climbed out of my car, forgetting that just minutes earlier I had loaded in the back a blue and pink tricycle with tassles on the handlebars and a ride-on toddler's car, in preparation for next week's visit of grandchildren.

The little green car took that moment to roll out towards the door. I caught it just as it made a break for the expressway, unfortunately grabbing it by the tooty squeaker horn and rolling the rattle on the handlebars.

My cover was blown.

Squeaking out

Not sure if you've ever been in this situation, but it's pretty hard to keep your credibility confronting an international terrorist, while armed with a little green two-year-old's beach buggy; even if you do have the rattle and squeaky horn toots synchronised.

The startled terrorist just looked puzzled, turned and carried on his evil way. Clearly not fazed by the horn or rattled by the rattle.

I suggest if you're travelling the streets of Tauranga, go better prepared than I. Be aware that Isis are driving amongst us. At least arm yourself with something more convincing than a squeaky car horn.

Don't hold back. Get the best offensive weapon you can muster.

Travel with Karate Barbie.