Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

The Sun newsroom has painstakingly pored over the year's headlines and judged for your reading pleasure, the 2014 Awards for contribution to the community and incredulity.

Here they are, in no particular order…

Horticulturalists of the Year: The Tauranga City Council, for propagation of the Black Mould.

Fungus of the Year: The Tauranga City Council's black mould. For surviving in a hot air atmosphere.

Hero of the Year #1: Tauranga 13-year-old Rhyhan Faithfull. For attempting to save a drowning man's life.

Hero of the Year #2: Greerton station officer Steve Wright. For spending half an hour rescuing a 'tiny kitten” from under the dashboard of a 'tiny vehicle”.

The Blowfly Award: Murray Guy, for not going away when he's swatted. Standing again for TCC.

Freedom award of the Year: Phillip Smith, for our borders have no control!

Belly flop of the Year: Dotcom for leaving no water in the pool for the Tamihere clan. After his masterstroke political stunt.

Dodged Bullet of the Year: Cyclone Lusi.

Marketing Fail of the Year: The few event organisers who signed into 'exclusive” media marketing deals with the other newspaper, then found their events were not so well attended. Event Management 101: Promote with the largest circulating, best read newspaper; because deliberately missing out is event management harikari!
Better still, support the locally-owned media with the big coverage, putting back into your community.

The ‘Whoops I did it again' Award: Phil Rudd.

The ‘What a man, what a man' Award: David Cunliffe

The ‘Really mate, just because you can read doesn't mean you know a WOF from a woof' Award: Every single TCC parking warden past, present and future.

The ‘We want a vibrant, humming, well populated CBD, so let's turn prime waterside real estate into a carpark and make rents ridiculously high cause that's just smart' Award: TCC

The ‘Putting the ‘mutiny' back into ‘community' Award: TCC

Attention Seeker of the Year: Kim Dotcom – although he probably shouldn't get this award as his party didn't make it into Parliament. So maybe give him Failed Attention Seeker of the Year.

Wine of the Year: Mills Reef Reserve Merlot Malbec.

Runners-Up Wine Award: Really any wine would do.

Best Thing We've Heard: The Andrew London Trio. Funny and brilliant musically. Live at the Omokoroa Boat Club. Which by the way, wins Venue of the Year.


Most Annoying Person of the Year: Dotcom. No contest. We just wish he'd bugger off.

Best Eating Place: Brooklyn, on The Strand. Great food, nice folk, neat venue.

Best New Politician: Todd Muller. Seriously nice guy and a hard worker.

Best Old Politician: Ian McLean. Not really old, but you know what I mean. Committed to the environment, strums a mean mandolin.

Most Annoying Device of the Decade: The leaf blower. They must have been invented in Guantanamo Bay.

Racists of the Year: Waikato Police for admitting they'd treat an Irish tourist driver differently to a local. (In the case of the sideways kayak).

Defence Force Star of the Year: Sub Lt Kevin Duncan, recipient of the Minister of Defence Sword, for all round potential brilliance.

Nephew of the Year: Kevin Duncan. For winning a bloody big knife from Gerry.

Shoe of the Year: Crocs. They win every year. The Navy should try them.

Quote of the Year: Re Crocs: 'Those little holes, that's where all your dignity leaks out”.

Runner up Quote of the Year: Phil Rudd, AC/DC: 'I'm going fishing, flying this afternoon and lots of fornicating tonight”.

The Most Cunning and Profitable Media Person of the Year: Nicky Hager for publishing ‘Dirty Politics' right before the election. The earnings should keep him going till right before the next election.

Swamp Plant of the Year: Mangroves. Someone has to stand up for them.

Volunteer of the Year: My crewmate Gavin Brown, from Coastguard. For looking out for his mates.

Crane Driver of the Year: Ben Rogers, McLeod Cranes. No favouritism here.
Okay, so maybe some.

Wife of the Year: It's a draw; both of you. (I hope you never meet).

Husband of the Year: No nominations received.

Headline of the Year: The Rogers Rabbits Fabulous and Groovy Awards. Strange, it wins every year.

Have a great new year and take care.

brian@thesun.co.nz