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Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz |
What is wrong with you people? Have you all gone completely stark raving bonkers?
Just lately we've seen some of the most bizarre things happening. So many that we been dedicated this entire column to your antics. It's not even a full moon, yet we've seen this:
Whumphing Samoan samurai
A couple of burly Samoan blokes seen traipsing around the shallows of upper Tauranga Harbour at night, with a 
flashlight and a drum half full of badly disfigured eels.
'You fellas been spearing fish?” seemed like a sensible question. 'No, we been getting them with the knife,” one replied.
'What sort of knife?” seemed like another logical question. He then pulled out the 'knife” – a massive samurai sword, complete with ornate decoration. Then proceeded to show me the technique, sword overhead, smashing down on dazed and unsuspecting eel, caught in the beam of the light. 'Whummph,” they assured me.
Stinky secret
A couple in a station wagon near Whangamata. All the windows covered up inside with blankets pegged around. Driving erratically. When it turned off the highway, we saw both driver and passenger holding their noses.
What the
..? Who drives around with a secret cargo that smells bad? Were they doing something dastardly and sinister, or is there a plausible explanation? If you are in the habit of touring the country with your car windows covered and holding your noses from the stench of the mystery contents, please drop us a line. We've been bewildered ever since.
Confused caravan
They've also got another larger one that is for sale. Details are coming up in the next Waterline magazine and on the marine section of SunLive.co.nz, in case you want to take a movan fishing.
Hay, pull over!
A tractor that thinks it's a police car. Yes that's right, Plod has gone plowing. The boys in blue reckon it's a good way to highlight rural security and are touring A&P shows and agricultural events with this fully pimped cop tractor. They think it's a great way to raise awareness. They 'borrowed” the tractor from the supplier. But the Taxpayer's Union reckon it's a shocking waste of funds and resources, traipsing it around the country, that won't help the victims of rural crime. We think it's just bizarre!
Fur in the fast lane
Dogs driving cars. Well at least they look like it. Seen on Cameron Rd, a bloke in the driver's seat with a middle size dog on his lap, paws on the steering wheel and both were sharing a pie. I don't how many times I've told my dog, don't drive and pie. Do they ever listen?
Greasy is the word
John Travolta proved that Greasy is the word, seen creepy and stalker-like, as he licked the face of a young and gorgeous Hollywood star at the Oscars. As for the weird choker thing around the neck. One RR reader says it's a shame for those who remember ‘Grease'.
You painted what?
An artist gets home from a hard day on the paint. 'How was your day?” 'Well, I painted a giant woman's crotch,” he could well have replied. Because acclaimed 
artist Owen Dippie gets down to the sensitive areas of his latest creation, on the wall of Harrington House in Tauranga. I really hope they've considered my suggestion for naming this mural: ‘Skinny Dippie'.
Tell us your weird observations and we'll share with the rest of the weirdos out there. The best will win prizes.
Send to brian@thesun.co.nz with ‘Weird things' in the subject line.
brian@thesun.co.nz