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Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz |
It seems to be a good time to be a New Zealander.
The economy is good.
Easter on the roads was safer than it's been for ages. Our cricketers are among the best two teams in the world. We're better sports than our Tasman neighbours. A dollar here is worth a dollar there. And New Zealanders have brought back ‘Thunderbirds'. That's right, only a Kiwi could have rescued 'International Rescue”.
Crime is down, according to the Statistics people. Adjusted for population growth this means criminal offences per head of population dropped by 4.2 per cent.
We're soon to have 10-year passports, just in case we want to go spend our recently equal comparative dollar somewhere else.
Lundy is where he belongs. We didn't get smashed by a cyclone. Paul Henry is back annoying anyone who asks for it, and those who don't. It's worth catching some morning TV again or listening in the car, just to remind us not to take life so seriously.
On the downside, the country still has to contend with Rawdon Boredom, didymo, the Brown Marmorated Stink Bug and the odd attitude of the Race Relations office…
Devoy office shuns media
It seems the Otago Daily Times has just discovered what Rogers Rabbits already knows: That the race relations office includes some conniving control freaks.
The latest saga, reported by the ODT in the weekend, reveals that Dame Devoy's race relations officials advised her to 'not answer the phone” and dodge the media questions about tourist driving crashes.
The ODT gleaned some interesting documents after an Official Information Act request.
It's further evidence that the office is being run by faceless flunkies hiding behind the Commissioner's title and they're calling the shots for the hapless Dame.
Not surprising, considering Devoy's barrage against this column last year, when she used the official title, secretary and letterhead of her office to hammer her personal viewpoint as a 'ratepayer”.
Now we find out they're purposely dodging questions the public rightfully deserve some 'guidance” on. Just more abuse of public office and media bashing from on high.
Critters run rampant
Easter was supposed to be about the bunny. But the annual rabbit has been upstaged by some other marauding critters.
‘Escaped pig roams Matua' is not a headline you see every day. In all my years in Matua I never saw a rampaging pig. Although some of my schoolmates did pretty close impressions at times.
The pig headline was eclipsed in readership hits this week on SunLive by Hunter Wells' story, re-living the fame of Humphrey the sea elephant.
The story re-surfaced during week, after some great photos from the eighties were delivered to The Sun office courtesy of the Chudleigh family.
Stink bug
Other animals stealing the limelight also include the Brown Marmorated Stink Bug. We are not making this name up. The BMSB, as it known to its friends, is one the kiwifruit industry's ‘most unwanted' biosecurity threat after the Queensland fruit fly and Russell 
Crowe.
Kiwifruit Vine Health biosecurity analyst Matt Dyck says the risk of it entering New Zealand is now considered extreme. The number of BMSBs being discovered at New Zealand borders is increasing, with more than 140 of these bugs intercepted this summer. Two of these interceptions were detected at the Port of Tauranga.
You think the pig was a problem? Lord help us if the Marmorated Stink Bug, of any colour, starts marauding in Matua.
For those of you wondering about ‘marmorated' it means: Streaked or marbled.
Not 'goes well on toast”.
Tacky puns dept
A truckload of PVA glue overturned on an Auckland highway this week, causing traffic chaos.
We've tried to avoid the use of tacky puns in this case, but here's a few that slipped through.
The glue truck driver is reportedly shaken, but on the mend.
We think drivers should adhere to the speed limits, stick to their lanes and in this case, avoid Bond St.
Take note:
Finally, Police have been warning about counterfeit bank notes circulating in the North Island. It could be the Aussies trying to get a slice of our rising dollar action.
Here's some banknotes we'd like to see: 
Now that we have parity with Australia, we could have a combined note, worth the same amount in each country. The Dinkum Dollar.
Dollar Dame: You'll get no cents from this and will be left short-changed.
Winston First: The currency that keeps turning up like a bad penny.