Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

And this one's a doozie

Just when you thought the Government had run out of ideas for unfairly taxing us, some bright spark comes up with a new one.

This time it's the new system for determining car licence levies.

Someone famous once said: 'Life isn't fair, get over it.” However, that doesn't mean we should roll over and take whatever is dished out, unquestioned.

The new vehicle levy is based on statistics that suggest some types of cars crash more than others. What bollocks.

I've never seen such discrimination and generalisation, not since the Third Form, when a whole class of boys were caned because one was bad. This licence fee concept is equally ridiculous and we should revolt. Except those of you who might actually enjoy a caning from Nikki Kaye.

Highest rates

For instance, the owners of Toyota Corollas, from years 1975 to 1993 (you'd think it punishment enough, driving a 40-year-old relic of Japanese mass production) will pay one of the highest rates to ACC.

This, despite the fact you might be a little old lady in Bureta that tootles down to the shops twice a week and up to St John's Anglican on Sunday.

You're being lumped into the high-risk category along with the rest of ancient Corolla owners – boy racers who have bought them off granny (who now mobility scooters down Seaview Rd); added dangly dice, flashing lights underneath, a signwritten memorial to their dead mates on the back windscreen; and fang around like idiots every night to burn rubber and test the density of concrete power poles.

A better idea

A far better way to levy motorists would be on their track record. Or at least include it as a factor in the rating.

You start off as a high risk because you are a learner, with little experience and mostly stupid. Some of them crash a lot. Regardless of the type or age of their car.

Some then gain experience and nous. Some don't, and become experienced but stupid. These ones should know better, but still crash.

The rest of us become experienced AND clever. Or at least know how to get clever for the driving, then revert to stupid when it doesn't matter so much.

These are the drivers that don't crash. They don't put burden on the ACC system. They don't ruin lives or cost a load of resources, to be patched up every time they screw up on the road. If only we had a record of who had been good drivers and who hadn't...wait a minute…we do!

It's called the legal system.

There's a very clear correlation between those who drive badly, get tickets, don't register their car, don't have warrants of fitness…those who generally flout the law and have the crash statistics to match.

Those are the people who should be paying high rates.

They are categorised by their track record, not the type and age of car they choose to drive.

It's similar to the User Pays concept. But I call it the ABUSER PAYS system.

And it should be applied to a whole range of other costs in society.

Archaic superstitions?

Such as the anti-vaccination brigade…

Why stop at anti-vaxxers?

It's a great idea the Aussies have, to cut child support for the anti-vaccination crusaders.

If you don't trust modern medical science enough to go with the programme, why should the rest of the populace subsidise your archaic superstitions?

Our guvmint apparently doesn't have the guts to follow suit. Sad, because not only should we follow the lead, but we should go a few steps further.

Why stop at the anti-vaxxers? We should extend a ban on free medical benefits to smokers, drunk drivers, drug fools, skateboarders over the age of 30 and anyone injured while committing a crime or driving with an unsafe or illegal vehicle.

That would save heaps of ACC and wasted hospital resources on idiots who think it's their right to get messed up, ruin other (taxpaying) people's lives and still get free treatment.

This ‘No jab, no pay' idea has the backing of New Zealander of the Year, Dr Lance O'Sullivan, who said all parents – no matter their income – should be compelled to vaccinate their children.

He told the Herald: 'I think the bottom line for me is we need to have strategies and initiatives that will protect our children, and in particular vulnerable children, and by definition that would be children living in welfare homes”.

Anyway, back it up a bit, to the vehicle levies issue. I quite like Nikki Kaye and reckon she's doing a pretty good job in the impossible task of ACC Minister. But she's completely jumped a cog on this levy.

Perhaps I should pick her up in my vintage Corolla, take her for a caning to check my dangly dice and see if we can talk some sense into the Minister.

And speaking of driving stories, here's a few gems from recent outings…

Random tales from the highway

I once asked a bloke why he didn't indicate when turning corners. 'What indicator?,” he asked.'That stick on the side of the steering wheel,” I replied with a garnish of sarcasm.

'Oh that. It makes a really annoying clicky noise.”

Got your number

A colleague was recently stopped at a checkpoint in Tauranga. A very fetching female officer was among those checking breath-alcohol levels.

There was a bit of jostling among the blokes in the queue to have their check taken by the lady officer. My mate got there and when she asked him to count he proceeded to tell her '0274…..” his phone number.

Breath fail

The Rogers' wagon went through a checkpoint at Waihi recently. As the cop was asking me to talk into the meter, the dog in the back seat stuck her head out the window to greet him enthusiastically. The officer politely informed me: 'Your breath is okay sir. But your dog fails.”

Parting shot

A man has fessed up after being caught in Queen St filming up skirts. In other news, the Auckland Pipe Band has announced its street parade will now go ahead as planned.