Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Lost in the wilderness, no idea of which way to turn. Surrounded by darkness, cold, confusion and circling predators baying for your blood.

Digging a hole deeper in the forlorn hope of maintaining protection.

Only the comforting prospect of a full woman's breast to keep you sustained.

Yes, it has been tough for Len Brown.

And it will be a miracle if he can survive.

Happily this week there have been two other cases of survival. The woman runner who spent a night in the bush after getting lost while running, and drank her own breast milk.

And of course the brilliant news, the successful search for lost police dog Thames, found after a week in the depths of the Tararua ranges.

It surely is the best good news story of the year and touched the hearts of all Kiwis. The scenes of reunion with his handler Mike were remarkable.

Found

A mate of mine, who is a duckshooter, reckons he went through a similar experience, though we doubt it reached the same emotional rollercoaster of the Thames case. The hunter tells the story.

'I returned to the maimai in the weekend, to find that one of my most experienced and loyal decoys was missing.

'A major river search ensued, and miraculously, Sir Francis was eventually found, shaken and muddy, but staunchly bobbing amongst the mangroves. A week in the wilds, separated from the flock, surviving raging wind and rain squalls.

'Sir Francis was pretty pleased to see me. There were tender moments as we bonded. Francis swam in circles around his tattered tether. His little black plastic eye gleamed with delight.

'He nudged my dinghy. Humped my leg. Made an omelette. Such is the bond between hunter and his decoys.”

Pictured here a RR team member scrutinising the cycleway project with the Sensibility Meter.

Lost the plot

Exactly how would you handle Alice Cooper if you were sober? Wouldn't really work for me. Even comatose I'd probably find Mr Cooper, and Motley Crue for that matter, testing.

Each to their own, and I salute those hardy head bashers from our region who ventured Auckward to the Great Vector to hear these fine bastions of poor music taste.

But here's the shocker; patrons were breath tested on their way in.

A mate, we'll call Sean, failed the maximum alcohol breath limit of 600 and was turned away. Sean and partner were sent to the naughty corner, for a meal and time out.

There was nothing in the fine print about an alcohol limit. Sean says they'd booked a hotel for the night, for the very reason they could imbibe a few beers through the evening.

We wonder if it's even legal? I guess anything can be justified for the licencing laws, but Sean was told it was to prevent drunk driving. So, he asks, why don't they breath-test drivers leaving rather than arriving?

We ran the story past our own doyen of moral and ethical dilemmas, entertainment exponent Winston Watusi, who was also surprised at the drink limit.

'Wow. New Zealand's lurch towards tut-tuting prohibitionism moves into even higher gear. To think that in these enlightened times you have to be sober to watch Alice Cooper and Motley Crue ... we're really through the looking glass now!”

In other news, Mr Watusi's neighbour had been waiting 20 years to see Motley Crue. He wasn't breath-tested, got a spot at the front, and said it was an awesome show.

City Council: Get on ya bike

We've been following the great debate on the proposed cycleway in the western ‘burbs, and decided to apply the Rogers Sensibility Metering Equipment to the project, to see if it stacks up.

(Pictured here is one of the RR team scrutinising the project with the Sensibility Meter.)

For those of you who can't be bothered reading the news, I will read it for you. The cycleway is proposed from Otumoetai to the Wairoa River. The Tauranga City Council is shirking on its part, a measly $500,000. The Western BOP District Council, on the other hand, has already pledged its share of funding for the cycle track from Omokoroa to the Wairoa. So the city's dithering threatens to put the $1m govmint funding at risk.

Western Bay mayor Ross Paterson whipped out figures this week from Christchurch that show returns of six to eight bucks for every dollar spent on cycle tracks.

The Hauraki Rail Trail success proves cycleways are not only an economic booster, but great for health and the community generally.

You'll be pleased to know it rates very highly on the RR Sensible Factor, so highly we've been inspired to draw you this chart to demonstrate.

Good on the Western Bay District Council for backing it. Shame on the Tauranga City Council for shagging around … quite happy to keep throwing good money after bad, on a whole lot of wasteful projects, then, when a great concept comes along, they duckshove.

I have no particular beef with Hairy Maclary, other than I suspect he may have left a bad smell in the book case. But you have to wonder about the priorities of the council when arty projects seem to get plenty of support while outdoorsy, healthy and potentially traffic-easing ones are given the cold shoulder.

They wouldn't know a good idea if it bit them on the arts.

TCC, crank on with this!

Flag of the week idea

This week's flag of the week winner is Isabel Ashmore, who suggests what she thinks is a brilliant idea. A prize pack, including Abe's bagels and cool Sun stuff, is on its way.

'Just add the silver leaf, an icon to Kiwis, to the existing flag. How easy and amazing is that? Please make people aware of this idea and save a lot of heartache by trying to change a flag totally, one that Kiwis love.”

Send us your flag ideas. The best each week will win munchy goodies and Sun gear.

E-mail to brian@thesun.co.nz and 'like” Rogers Rabbits on Facebook for the uncut version. And possibly the half cut.