Support to keep their memories alive

Some of the pamphlets people can read to help them through a difficult time.

The following days were a blur for Lynene after her son took his own life.

This is the story of a couple’s experience with Manaaki Tāngata Victim Support after losing their son, as told on the support service’s website.

Lynene talks about her son Cameron with pride. “He was such an outgoing, loving, caring young man,” she said. “And he was so loved. By so many people.”

It’s been more than two years since Lynene, Simon and their family had their world turned upside down when their beloved Cameron died.

During those blurring days after Cameron’s death, Lynene and her whānau connected with victim support worker Karen.

“Karen was able to listen,” said Lynene. “She was really good for our whole family. A godsend, really.”

Since reaching out to victim support services, Lynene has worked to navigate her grief and Karen has been there with her for every step of the way.

Karen is only a phone call away if Lynene needs a chat, a coffee, or a cry.

“Karen, our support worker, suggested so many avenues we could go down, was able to direct us to resources, give us booklets – she was instrumental in getting us through.

“Having somebody I could cry to, having somebody who understands in some sort of way, has been amazing,” she said. “Even now, it’s really reassuring knowing she’s always there if I need a chat.”

To mark Cam’s 27th birthday, his family threw a birthday party in his honour.

“The kids really wanted to do something for him,” said Lynene. “So we held a dress up party and told people to come dressed as anything that reminded them of Cam – we had some very interesting costumes.”

To attend the party, there was a $5 donation, with all proceeds going to Victim Support. Thanks to Cam’s birthday event, Lynene and her family were able to donate close to $500 to Victim Support in his memory.

“The party was really quite healing actually,” she said.

Lynene described Cameron as an “amazing person”. Photo: Manaaki Tāngata Victim Support.
Lynene described Cameron as an “amazing person”. Photo: Manaaki Tāngata Victim Support.

Working to keep Cam’s memory alive every day is the most important part of Lynene’s grief journey.

Sometimes it’s talking to him like she used to, saying goodbye before she heads out in the morning telling him to “get out of bed and get to work!”.

Other times it’s small, unexpected moments. Ones that take her by surprise and remind her just how special Cameron was.

A memory popped up on her Facebook page, Lynene said. “It was from 2014, and it was a text I had received from Cam. It said: ‘Hey Mum, I love you. Always.’”

“He was an amazing human, that’s for sure.”

Manaaki Tāngata Victim Support is there 24/7 for people directly affected by crime and traumatic events, including their whānau and witnesses.

“Manaaki Tāngata | Victim Support helps around 50,000 victims nationwide every year, which is nearly 1000 victims each week,” said district manager Waikato and Bay of Plenty, Brent Nielsen when speaking to The Weekend Sun.

“Victims should know that they are not alone, and that support is available at any time.

“We put our clients at the heart of everything we do, and are honoured to deliver mana-enhancing, trauma-informed support for people in the Bay of Plenty and beyond.

“Victim Support is free and available to everyone, even if a crime is not reported to the police.

“Victims of crime, suicide and traumatic events can contact us confidentially on 0800 842 846 or find out more on our website: www.victimsupport.org.nz.

“Our website has a quick exit button on the top so they can leave the site quickly if they need to.”

“To make sure we can continue to provide round-the-clock support for victims, please consider donating to Victim Support.”

To donate, visit: www.victimsupport.org.nz/donate.

Where to get help:
Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906
Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234
What's Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)
0800 Anxiety Helpline: 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY). This service is confidential and free of charge. Open 24/7.
Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202 (available 24/7)
• Helpline: Need to talk? Call or text 1737
Aoake te Rā (Bereaved by Suicide Service): Call 0800 000 053
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

- SunLive

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