News Hound Ady & Flo www.sunlive.co.nz

I've been babysitting this week, my English family with their miniature short haired person who constantly needs amusing. And I'm just the dog for the job.

The miniature short haired person is just like a dachshund, with similar legs, but the belly is further off the ground. She also needs her hands constantly checked for excessive food, which being a Labrador, I am obliged to assist with.

Babies, I've discovered, are a lot like puppies. Demanding, loud when they wake and have the occasional toileting issues. So I've decided the miniature person is a Mini Me.

I've had to scale down my security responses too, since Mini Me sleeps at some pretty odd hours – even more than a hardworking newshound.

Just to get a measure of the barking response, I have produced a Flo Chart as a guide:

And when the security response is over, we need to sing an old lullaby to soothe the child. One of our favourites is 'Old Dogs, Children & Watermelon Wine”.

For your viewing pleasure, we have also graphed this song: