Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

A few days out from Christmas would ordinarily be the ideal time to wish you all well for the festive season and the New Year.

Only there's a small percentage of you who believe the world is going to end today, so we won't be wasting any precious good wishes on you. Although, as our expert advice suggests below, you are not really nuts.

So we'll settle for wishing MOST of you a very safe and happy time.

For those of you hell bent on seeing the world end on Friday, here's some sensible advice from someone who should know. Dr Matthew Dentith, Faculty Member, Department of Philosophy, University of Auckland, wrote his PhD thesis on the understanding and evaluation of conspiracy theories.

Now if anyone should know about rumours of the end of the world, it's Matthew. We've dubbed him Doctor Doom. He comments:

"If the world ends on 21 December, it's going to be a surprise -- despite the numerous predictions about that date -- because the various arguments being put forward in support of an impending apocalypse are, typically, suspect. They either rely on evidence which does not strongly suggest the end of the world will occur on the 21st of this month, or the predictions are so vague that almost any calamitous event will satisfy such a claim.

"Doomsday theories like the claim that the Mayan Long Count Calendar predicts the end of the world are common, popular and – thus far – all examples of failed predictions.

"All doomsday theories rely upon controversial interpretations of their supporting evidence. For example, the Mayan Long Count Calendar does not predict a catastrophe on the 21st of December but, rather, the end of a cycle. To infer that the end of a cycle entails an apocalypse is like claiming the world is going to end because the year is coming to a close.

"Given the poor track record of doomsday predictions in general and the various other rival, non-doomsday hypotheses, 21 December 2012, is likely to be as interesting as 21 December 2011 or, indeed, any random day of the year."

The Science Media Centre also came up with this guy:
Associate Professor Marc Wilson, from the Department of Psychology, Victoria University Wellington. Marc advises:
"This year is not special. Remember Y2K? Didn't happen. There have been at least 100 internationally recognisable doomsdays predicted since 2000!

"It is important to point out that following doomsday predictions doesn't mean that someone is necessarily psychologically unwell. It's inappropriate to characterise people as nuts because they are concerned about the Mayan hypothesis!

"If we see bad stuff happening, we want to know why it's happening so we can prevent it. Lots of things we just can't prevent though, and that's a very uncomfortable feeling that we might deal with by looking for reasons.

"It's a quick step from there to making connections or seeing patterns in the 'evidence' that might support what many of us think are odd beliefs. The whole Mayan Calendar thing is very like this - it's got numbers and patterns, and it appears to produce a date that people can hang on to. I will eat my hat if the world comes to an end (or rather I will NOT eat my hat when it DOESN'T come to an end).

"What will happen when people awaiting doomsday inevitably wake up on the 22nd and everything's still there?

"This is a fundamentally uncomfortable position to be in because we all have a drive to believe that we're rational and sensible rather than gullible and credulous! The phenomenon is technically called cognitive dissonance.

"I have no doubt that if something vaguely doomsdayish happens on the 21st that at least some people will claim that as evidence - Ken Ring predicted a massive quake in Christchurch last year that didn't actually happen, but a smaller 4.0 did and that was then used as evidence that the prediction was right but the scale was wrong.

"In the case of Harold Camping who predicted several 'raptures' in 2011, he finally turned around and apologised for his hubris in trying to predict God's will, and essentially suggested it was a lesson designed to humble people like him - but the underlying belief system remained intact."

Thanks Marc and Matthew.

Then we have this gem, sent in by an informed reader:

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, dishevelled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

'May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.”

That's all for this week, folks. You'll see us again in your mailboxes on Friday December 28, assuming the world hasn't ended and no-one has choked eating their sunhats. Then the Sun takes a break, just a week, and rocks back into your letterbox for the first edition of the New Year, on Friday January 11.

Have fun out there, be careful, make a special effort to console any disillusioned Mayans, and be prepared to loan them a new 2013 Calendar.