Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Welcome back to the last remnants of the year, I see you are all looking very relieved that the world didn't end last Friday.

The year will end, however in a few days. This column would not be complete without a few seasonal warnings. After all, the PC brigade is out in full force, keeping us safe from ourselves and the myriad of hazards waiting out there in summerland to snare us.

We started compiling safety messages, but in the end, there were just too many to cover in this column. Everything from staying safe from railway lines; to how to avoid blowing oneself up with LPG. Really, if you can't use some commonsense and look after yourself for a change, there really is no hope. Having said that, there's bound to be someone who ignites into a ball of flames when hit by a train while barbecuing on the railway tracks.

More important news

The big news this week is the revelation that some Louboutins have been named after Blake Lively. Hold the front page, this is huge.

Our first reaction was awe. Second, what is a Louboutin? Thirdly, what is a Lively Blake? The last Blake I heard of wasn't too lively at all.

Turns out, I must have been in a cultural vacuum for the last few decades. Louboutin is an apparently famous footwear maker. Funny, I don't see his name on any of the Crocs. And Blake Lively is not a Texas line dancing team, but, apparently, a person. A famous actress-type woman.

Once I put all this together, however, I can see the enormity of the headline.

Blake has been named one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people. Not sure how I missed that, probably only read the first 10 or so. Or maybe Time just forgot to send me that particular free copy.

So feeling as stupid as a nurse answering a phone, I set about to find out as much about Ms Lively and Louboutins so I could in turn, update my dedicated readers, who surely must also be enveloped in a cultural desert because NONE of you have ever written to me about Livelys or Louboutins so I can only assume you didn't know either.

Turns out, she appeared in movies such as The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee and was in the teen drama series Gossip Girl – which explains her complete absence from any of my memory banks. I outright refuse to watch any movies with titles like that. Or with 'of” in the titles. Or anything involving a hobbit. Not that Lively has short hairy cohorts, but she did have a fling with Leonardo DiCaprio.

AskMen.com rated her the most desirable woman of 2011. Which is odd, because they didn't ask us. Mind you, we didn't know her last year, so probably would have rated Susan Boyle higher.

And speaking of dearest Susan, I guess you'll all be looking forward to her forthcoming Christmas album. I know I am. Intriguing combination, her and Donny Osmond. I guess he won't be singing Puppy Love. Probably Who Let the Dogs Out.

We did promise to bring you more hobbit harassment, and the festive season seems an appropriate time to sling a bit more abuse at these over-rated, over exposed and overly hairy annoyances.
So here are some ideas.

Hobbit recipes

Now that you trapped a whole bunch of pesky hobbits, thanks to the efficiency of the hobbit trap revealed to the world in a RR exclusive a couple of weeks ago, you'll be wondering what to do with them.

Preparing hobbit is easy. After they've been cleaned and singed to remove the hair and hung by the ears for a few days, you'll be ready to turn them into one of the fabulous dishes below. For many years, hobbits have been considered a second rate ingredient, often referred to as dog tucker or burley, due to the high oil content.

There is no denying that they are useful for these purposes, and can also be good fertiliser if ground into a paste and spread with a little lime. But with the right preparation, hobbit can be a thrifty solution for families feeling the budget bite in these tough economic times.

Galadriel and Pukeko Soup

1 pukeko. Check for pieces of embedded radiator grille.
1 hobbit. Blanch it. Or Blanchett.
Add carrot, onion, stick celery, bay leaf, sprig thyme, sprig parsley, 6 peppercorns, 2 cloves, teaspoon salt, cold water and a partridge in a pear tree.
Add all ingredients to a saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring slowly to the boil and gently simmer for
three hours.
Remove some bits from the pukeko and the hobbit and chop finely across the grain. Add to pot, simmer for half an hour. Serve hot.

Other summer treats include…

Boil in the Bag Bilbo: Drop into hot water while still wriggling.
Hobbit hotpot: A good one for winter nights. Goes well with Frodo Fritters.

Legless Legolas: Pull the limbs off and feed to the dogs.
To finish the evening, try…

Mr Horan's Hobbit Steamed Pudding
What better way to celebrate the festive season with a tradition steamed pudding, complete with traditional coins:
This is made in the usual way in a porcelain pudding basin with butter, except use a clean hobbit foot to beat the ingredients. Silver coins are added to the mix. You can get these from your mum.

Parting thought

A final safety message from us. The New Year just wouldn't be the same without a warning from the RR team.

Remember to wear a lifejacket, a bike helmet, seat belt, sunscreen and a condom. Not necessarily all at once. Okay, just for the adventurous.