Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

The reason the country is so indebted: The politicians can't remember where the money is.

They apparently can't keep track of their own money. How can we expect them to look after ours?

Just this week, David Shearer joined a long list of politicians who have forgotten to declare stashes of dosh.

Reminds us of the old country song: 'I Forgot to Remember to Forget.”

At least 50 grand is a lot to have forgotten about. Some speculate it could be as much as half a million. I'm pretty sure all RR readers would know exactly where their dollars were stashed, if they had that much sitting around in mysterious accounts somewhere.

We all forget things. It's only human. I forgot to put the recycling out on Wednesday. Some people forget they should work for a living. President Clinton forgot he had sex with THAT woman. My wife once pulled into school to drop off the kids, but found they weren't in the back seat; (it was school holidays). I recently found forgotten change in the glovebox that was an emergency Route K toll payment. I once forgot my wedding anniversary and have the scar to prove it.

But never, ever would I forget about a five or six figure sum in a bank account.

I am still wracked with anguish every day, trying to find four dollars of bonus bonds that Gran gave me in 1971. I'm not sure where they are, they have never won a prize, but the major difference is, I KNOW that I have them. Unlike Shearer, and the many forgetters he has savaged before him… they've forgotten they have it! Not a good look for people trusted with our hard earned taxes.

We don't take much notice of what John Banks says, but this week I have to agree that Shearer should resign. Banks was lambasted for 'forgetting” about his Dotcom campaign donation from the big guy. The howls of outrage from Shearer were unrelenting: Banks should stand down, he insisted.

Now the boot is on the other foot. Shearer has forgotten about his secret stash not once, but four years in a row.

"This is appalling behaviour for someone who claims to have such high ethical standards, let alone from someone who wants to be Prime Minister. If he's reckless with his own banks accounts, how can he be trusted with taxpayers' money?" says Banks.

Shearer should apply his own ethical standards to himself and stand down.

They pass it off as 'brain fade” but RR believes if you can't remember how much you've got, you're being paid too much.

Maybe that's the trouble with Cyprus. It hasn't really run out of money; the politicians have just forgotten where it is.

A caller to the RR Cashline (a service we have established for people wanting to report the whereabouts of large amounts of money they've suddenly remembered) says those living in the Western Bay shouldn't be so worried about the state of the Western BOP District Council, considering the plight of Cyprus.

He says Western Bay is in debt between $150m and $190m, (depending on whether you remember the odd $40m borrowed somewhere else) which our caller says is about $7700-$9500 per ratepayer; based on around 20,000 households in the region. There are a tad more ratepayers than that, counting industrial and commercial… which we will forget about for the convenience of keeping the arithmetic simple.

Mr Ratepayer suggests a one off payment from each sucker, er, ratepayer of about eight grand would clear it all up nicely. Sure, we'll just dip into our bank accounts in the USA which we'd forgotten about until this week.

The situation isn't much rosier in Tauranga City. There are 48,000 residential customers and 3000 commercial. The city debt is around $390m (or $460m if you believe the council bashers who say a large whack is forgotten, or creatively unaccounted) so according to my razor sharp Tauranga Primary School level maths, that's also at least $8000 per household.

Now if you all took the lead from Mr Shearer or Mr Key or Mr Banks, or the hordes of politicians with buried mountains of forgotten money; and had a good ferret around the dark recesses of the piggy bank, you might just uncover a long lost account or shares worth a few thou or mil, just waiting to be cashed in, so then everyone can bail out the local councils!

Or, a win in Bonus Bonds could sort out your share of the council debt in one lump payment.

Yeah, right.

In the case of Mr Hotchin, formerly of Hanover Finance, there's the option to sell off the bach at Boatshed Bay on Waiheke Island, reported to be worth about $9.8m and owned by a trust of which he's the beneficiary. This week the five bedroom mansion on four hectares, with 100m of private beachfront, was back on the market.

Originally bought, no doubt with the proceeds of investments of thousands of Grans who now wish they'd bought Bonus Bonds instead.

Parting rort – I mean thought:

Finally, if anyone out there finds themselves in the embarrassing position of having a load of loot they don't want to admit to, we offer a free disposal service. Call us confidentially and we'll make arrangements. We're thinking of calling the service 'Handover Finance”.

Then you can forget all about it.