Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

We've come back to see what's cookin' in the local elections, and man, is there a mess in the kitchen! Your polling has turned up some surprises, with voters clearly tired of the same old diet on offer from the city council.

With three councillors remaining on the menu, and some long serving ones now either eating humble pie, or their hats, it would seem the rate paying public is keen to get their teeth into some fresh fodder.
While the councillor menu looks pretty fresh and raw, the city mayoral offering is tasting more of cold leftovers, going into a fourth term – and far from Mr Crosby's majority wins in previous years.
The mayoral race was a close call, with Mr Crosby's margin gobbled into by Kelvin Clout – and some in the anti-Crosby brigade would argue that Baker, Moore and Robson, with about 9000 between them, effectively split the protest vote.
But a win is a win, and congratulations to the Crosby clan and the successful candidates. Good luck, you'll need it to pull so many newbies together into a coherent, effective unit.
We'd also like to thank outgoing Cr Bill Faulkner for his commitment to 13 years of column writing as a sitting councillor, an outstanding contribution to our paper and the community to keep readers informed with his insights and opinions of happenings behind the chamber doors. We've invited Bill to continue his commentary on local politics, with the first of his post-election commentaries in this week's edition.
It's business as usual at Western Bay, with Mayor Patterson in for another term, alongside four newbie councillors and one returning.

Len Brown and Jock Paget's horse both appear to have had their snouts in dodgy nose bags.

Dishing the dirt
Elsewhere there's scandal, with Aucklanders stunned at the table manners of their Mayor Len Brown, revealing he likes to eat out – we now all know his favourite dish on the side.
At RR we're wondering how the congratulatory phone call went from his former crumpet…
'Hurro, Ren. Conglaturations. I am so preased to see you re-erected.” Or words to that effect.
Here at RR Headquarters, we've taken a mature and measured response to the scandal, by making up purile and insensitive jokes.
Such as: What is the difference between Len Brown and Jock Paget's horse? One is a mount who's doping, the other is a dope who's mounting.
Why is Len Brown better than Emirates Team New Zealand? Because at least when he gets on top he finishes first.
The RR team have written a new song for Auckland. It's a parody of the 80's new wave band 'Wang Chung” and their hit: Everybody Have Fun Tonight; Everybody bang Chuang Tonight.
Meanwhile, some of the wags on Twitter have been busy:
New book in Whitcoulls Queen St – 'Fifty Shades of Brown”
At least no one was hungry, he got Chinese and she got two minute noodle. Len Brown says he works 24/7 for Auckland, but now we know it is actually 23 hours 58 minutes.
Shan wants to wring his neck, but the problem is he'd find the choking arousing.
A poll was done in Auckland. 49 per cent of Aucklanders think Len Brown should keep his seat. 51 per cent think he should disinfect it. Didn't realise BrownTown was going to turn out to be a red light district.
Been a rough three years for local government. Christchurch had a quake. Wellington had a quake. Len Brown in Auckland had a knee-trembler.
Women of Auckland were polled whether they would want to have sex with Len Brown. 25 per cent said 'not again”.

Online voting
One thing is sure, the sooner the country moves to online election options for voting, the better. The lowest ever turnout of 40 per cent is a pretty sad indictment on the apathy of ratepayers; plus a measure of the inefficiency of the antiquated postal voting system. Good news is, the gummint is tackling this and hopes to get some trials underway so we can elect online in 2016. It's got my vote.

Parting shot
The last word this week, thanks to Gladys Jones, in reply to our piece last week on the state of sport:
The definition of the game of cricket: Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game. Understand?