Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Thanks for the enormous feedback this week from the last RR column – just goes to prove how shallow and inane you all are. Shame on you for being so easily amused…to snigger and sneer at smutty innuendo and other people's misfortunes.
Here's some more.

Changes are likely to drink driving laws, reducing blood-alcohol levels. Some reports this week have tried to quantify the new levels using examples of famous New Zealanders, such as Richie McCaw, who they say could down half a dozen of his sponsor's beers in a two-hour period before reaching the new legal limit.
The proposal is to drop the allowable sozzle level from 80 to 50 milligrams of alcohol, per 100 millilitres of blood. Under the new proposal, drivers caught between 50 mg and 80 mg would not go to court, but instead face $200 fines and 50 demerit points.
Experts say larger men had the advantage of having more body water to dilute alcohol; so under the new limit, All Blacks captain McCaw could probably quaff up to six Steinlagers in two hours and still drive home, while internet mogul Kim Dotcom could drink up to 26 shots of schnapps.
On this basis, RR has identified other notable folk who could be affected by the limits:
We believe David Cunliffe could swallow four standards units of his own propaganda and still be able to steer the Labour Party home.
Jimmy Spithill could be eight boat races behind at the start, but then quaff nine and steal the cup.
Mahe Drysdale will never be over the limit, because he does single sculls.
Rachel Hunter will reach the limit eventually. Not overnight, but it will happen.

No laughing matter
Some drivers in the Western Bay are so bad they don't need to be drunk to be a hazard.
We've seen some shocking antics on the highways and roundabouts this week.
Mind you, not as bad as this recent story out of the USA…
You think Tauranga drivers are clowns? Police in Pennsylvania found it was no laughing matter, when a van full of clowns pulled a U-turn and crashed on their way to the state fair. The driver, Dimples the Clown, suffered a minor bump on the head. The 83-year-old was wearing oversized shoes at the time, but police say this was not a contributing factor in the crash.

Henry's back
Good news for all you closet Paul Henry fans out there: He's coming back.
The exiled TV frontman – whose only crimes are having the balls to say what most of you think; and the ability to wind up anyone who takes themselves too seriously – is back on TV in the new year with the Paul Henry show. It replaces the ailing ‘Nightline'. (Now if only TV3 could get rid of that irritating Campbell idiot, the channel might be worth watching).
For those of you starved of Henryism for the last few years, here's another antidote. He's written a book, called ‘Outraged', and it tackles the everyday annoyances that most of us encounter, but have been so brow-beaten by PC control freaks, we have forgotten how to stand up for ourselves.
Included is Mr Henry's complaint that everyone gets a designated carpark, except him.
Here at Sun Media, we are doing our part to remedy this oversight, and have reserved a carpark for Paul Henry. We encourage everyone else in the Bay of Plenty to do the same, so if Paul Henry should happen to visit, he won't have any problems finding one of his parks.
You can purchase your ‘Reserved Parking, Paul Henry' signs from Sun Media. All proceeds to the Criminally Inane Society (Un-Inc.).

Lucky escape of the week
My old uncle Kenny always used to say: 'You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run”.
He'll be adding: 'Know when to jump” after seeing the incredible footage of two plane loads of skydivers, who managed to leap out of their aircraft and save themselves after a mid-air collision.
Quote of the week goes to the skydiver who wryly noted: 'The wing broke off so we just left”.

Tough deal of the week
Here at RR we are pleased to see the end of yet another pointless fireworks night; and it's equally invalid cousin, Halloween. Both should be taken out the back and shot.
And on the subject of trick or treating, spare a thought for the hardship suffered by two groups on Halloween: magicians and prostitutes. We can only assume they all have to turn tricks for free for the night.
brian@thesun.co.nz