Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Andy Warhol once famously said: 'They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself”. Well if it wasn't famous before, it will be since he's quoted here.
RR researchers have discovered the population is tired of the names of the week. Just like certain parts of our geography, it's time for a change.
The current day names are effectively meaningless, so here are some practical solutions.
We've come up with some alternatives that better suit those particular days:
Monday is to become Firstday.
Tuesday is Rubbish Day. Not much we can do about that.
Wednesday is a silly name, hard to spell. It becomes Middleday.
Thursday is Payday. Those who head to the pub on Payday probably will still call it Thirstday.
Friday is Lastday. Some of you already know this as Throw a Sickie Day. (Or maybe it should be Sun Day, since that's the day your favourite paper arrives).
Saturday, Sportday.
Sunday, Restday.
The good news is, rubbish men everywhere will rejoice because under the new system, they'll only have to work one day a week.
The renaming of the days reminds of our new decimal time system, which has been explained in previous columns.
We've come up with some names for the units of time.
There's not much we can do about the 365 days in a year. But we can decimalise the units currently known as months, weeks, days, hours and minutes.
The smallest measure of time will be a Jiffy. There will be 100 Jiffies in a Tad. A hundred Tads makes up a day (the only name we are retaining, because its actual time remains the same as the old time system).
The old seven-day week will be replaced with a 10-day measure, called a While. There will be 10 Whiles in an Age and 10 Ages in a Year.
Which is bad news for our renaming of the day names, since there are only seven. So back to the drawing board on that idea.
Anyway, you catch my drift.
The important thing with the Rogers Decimal Time system is that when you tell someone you'll: be there in a Jiffy, popping out for a Tad, haven't seen someone in Ages, or you'll be a While in the bathroom – people will know EXACTLY how long you mean.
Now all we need is to quantify a Smidgeon, and we're sorted.
We also plan to change the way you drive. NZ is one of the few countries in the world that drives on the left. However, we have a better plan than changing to driving on the right.
At the same time as we change the days of the week's names, we will also change the road rules so everyone drives in the middle of the road. (For at least half of Tauranga drivers, there will be no change).
Please indicate if you support these changes. Oh hang on, half of you don't indicate either.
Flashbacks
And speaking of time, this week has seen some interesting flashbacks. What a great year for comebacks.
First there was Georgie Pie, resurrected by McDonald's, then Bata Bullets has announced they are striding back into style.
Stubbies, the iconic shorts of the seventies apparently never really left us, although many males are in denial. It's entirely possible there are men out there still to come out of the closet in their stubbies. There also seems to be some incestuous connection between the iconic shorts and the infamous Beige Brigade. That is an investigation for a later date.
This week, we were treated to voices we haven't heard since the nineties, David Strassman and his ventriloquist talents – Ted E. Bare and Chuck Wood. They put on two great shows at Baycourt on Tuesday night.
What's next?
What pieces of nostalgia would you like to see again?
Drop a line to: brian@thesun.co.nz with your thoughts and we'll do some digging. Just please, no requests for Gerard Roof ads or any sign of a natural glow.
Parting shot:
Let's get to the bottom of this: Do we care that Miley Cyrus twerked again? No.
Glad to have that behind us. We can get on with discussing the real news.
It's a sad day when the story of a bum-wobbling celebrity brat can out-rate the horrific reports of tens of thousands dead in one of the world's worst typhoon disasters. Our thoughts are with those in the
Philippines suffering unimaginable
tragedy and chaos.