He's a handsome man. Beautiful perhaps. And there's the wistful ‘Lawrence of Arabia' gaze from the depths of the keffiyeh, the traditional Arab headscarf. It's a look that has lost none of its intensity and mystique in the 79 years since it was taken.

'He signed up and went to war. At the time it was an okay thing to do, a great adventure,” says Mary Mollard of Papamoa. The man in the photograph is her uncle, her Dad's brother. 'He didn't come home. But that's all I knew of him. That's all that was ever discussed.”

Private Thomas Bridger Wharepapa would have broken hearts as a young man. He definitely shattered some – those of his whanau around Matapihi – when his life was snuffed out in a bloody World War II battle dubbed the ‘Western Stalingrad' at the Italian town of Ortona in 1943.

'I remember as a child my brother and my dear late cousin would draw war tanks and guns. But I had no concept of war,” says Mary.

”Now I can't help but have tears for him,” says Mary. 'And with all my heart, I shall remember him, and all the others who made the sacrifice.”

Private Wharepapa's body lies in a Canadian War Cemetery near coastal Ortona, Italy, where he 'died from his wounds”. The epitaph is succinct, sad and reveals little of the man – just his service number 802483, rank, name, NZ Infantry, the date he died, December 13, 1943, and his age, 25.

But now, 79 years later, his spirit is returning home. Private Wharepapa's name has been added to the Roll of Honour plaque on the Papamoa War Memorial. 'It is the rightful thing to do,” says Mick O'Carroll of the New Zealand Fallen Heroes Trust. 'He is part of who we are, where we come from.”

And a proud Mary Mollard is there today for the plaque unveiling, on November 11, Armistice Day, when the guns on the Western Front fell silent after four years of utter destruction and bloodshed. Mary had more tears to shed. 'I now tell my mokopuna about him and the war; ‘this is what happened, and we should make sure it never, ever happens again'.”

Last year at a commemoration service, Mary recognised a name on the plaque and wondered if her Uncle Bridger might deserve to be up there too. 'How blessed would we be?” Much blessed, it seems, because her efforts ensured Private B.Wharepapa was etched into the Papamoa plaque, and our memories, for all time.

The names of two other ‘brothers in arms' have also been added to the memorial, and in being there just may have exorcised some demons from our military history.

Sergeant Honiana N. Te Kani – better known as Jack – and Private David J.R.Mikaere – both Matapihi lads – upheld New Zealand's commitment to ANZUS by serving in Vietnam.

'Adding their names to our memorial and telling their stories means we add a little bit more understanding of the fabric of our community,” says Buddy Mikaere. Private David J.R.Mikaere was Buddy's first cousin.

Jack and David survived the guerrilla tactics of ‘Charlie', the Communist Viet Cong, but they didn't survive the opprobrium of the anti-war protesters back home.

Out of fatigues, David ran a couple of burger bars in Mount Maunganui, and Jack did the accounts. But the festering political divisiveness of the Vietnam War drove them away again. 'They felt unwelcome in the country they served,” says Buddy. So they went to Perth, where several of their army mates had settled. 'It's shameful how the Vietnam vets were treated. And the fact Agent Orange was manufactured right here in New Zealand also rankles.”

It was messy. It would take the Crown 33 years to formally welcome the NZ Vietnam vets home, and to apologise for not doing so sooner.

Then, maybe, they succumbed to friendly fire. 'While out on active patrol Jack and David, they were exposed to Agent Orange,” says Buddy. Agent Orange, the hideously toxic defoliant used by the US to strip the Vietcong of their jungle hiding.

The dioxin has since been linked to cancers, diabetes, birth defects and other disabilities. And decades after the war finished in 1975, both Jack and David died of Leukaemia.

But now the lads of Matapihi have been officially memorialised, honoured. They have come home and past wrongs may have been put right.

Private Thomas Bridger Wharepapa.