Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

The election is next weekend, as some of you may have noticed. But you can vote early, as many keen electors have opted to do.

The Electoral Commission and some parties are very keen for a big turnout, but here at RR some of us are not so sure it's a good idea to encourage it among those who are not particularly interested.

It's a silly idea for people to vote if they aren't sure, or haven't been following the issues; despite the campaigns to drag people to the ballot box.

Voting should be based on sound, reasoned, and long-term viewpoints of how the various parties and candidates have performed.

Surely this is something that sensible people do, in the course of their daily lives and over the years of the term?

There are many swinging voters out there, and contrary to some expert opinion, I don't believe they're divided in their choice; more likely they haven't been paying enough attention.

There's no point in voting if you're not qualified; and that means understanding the issues.
It's a dangerous situation to have people voting at the last minute without having properly assessed the issues and policies that matter to them.

Ban billboards

For the same reasons, billboards should be banned.

Apart from the visual pollution and distraction to drivers, they play no useful
role in conveying a candidate's or a party's policies or beliefs, and more likely result in citizens making voting decisions based on a catchy sales pitch, swanky haircut or a grinning set of white gnashers.

There will be some folk who vote for a name, simply because it's the only one they recognise.

That is not useful. The decision on who runs the country should be the result of due diligence by electors.

So if you're not sure who to vote for, don't be suckered in by the ‘make your vote count' brigade and the PC whining that ‘everyone needs to have a say.'

If you think you don't know what you're doing, you're probably right.

Leave it to the people who've done their homework and bothered to follow the news, the issues, the policies and understand the motivations of their candidates and parties.

Early voting

Early voting is a great idea. I don't believe that after three years, if you've been intelligently following the issues, anyone could not have already made up their minds about which party to support and which candidate has presented the best case to win your vote.

If you're relying on some magical piece of information to materialise out of the last week, or waiting to catch a glimpse of a decisive-looking billboard with just the right smirk, comb-over or Photoshopped cleavage, you're probably not qualified to be deciding the leadership of the nation.

Maybe you'd be better to stay home and pay more attention during the next three years, and formulate some understanding and belief around the issues involved in managing the country as a whole.

Then you might be informed enough to have a sensible crack at voting in three years' time.

Poo-poo boo-boo

In other news, we usually try to avoid toilet humour at RR. But this is priceless.

A woman in the UK has made headlines after getting herself stuck upside down in the toilet window of her Tinder date's bathroom. It's quite a long story, but the short version is, she had a toileting malfunction and tried to throw a package of excrement out the window.

It became stuck, and being a gymnast, she thought she could avoid the potential embarrassment by climbing half out the window… anyway the story gets even better, when told in pidgin English.

That's right, the BBC has a Pidgin version of its news:

'Woman wey take her hand, pack her poo-poo comot di toilet of man wey
she dey friend because ''e no gree flush'' enter trouble, after she go try collect di poo-poo back.

'The woman wey dey learn gymnastics, just start to waka with Bristol student, Liam Smith, for di first time, when she take fear troway di poo-poo comot for window.

'Instead make di thing land for garden, di poo-poo come jam between two windows wey no dey open wide.

Di lady decide to carry her thing back; she use head enter the small space wey di poo-poo bin dey, but na so she come trap for there, and trouble start.

'Mr Smith say im no get choice but to call fire service make dem help remove di girl, along with her poo-poo…”

Thanks BBC for such commitment to the important stories.

Parting thought

I read this on Facebook, so it must be true: 'I'm no scientist but I think I know what's causing these hurricanes. It could be one or a combination of the following: Trump. Vegans. The Eclipse. Terrorists. Nickelback. Climate change. Colonial statues. Vaping.”