News Hounds Ady & Flo www.sunlive.co.nz

I was half asleep in the beanbag, helping the boss watch the Olympics, when it occurred to me that Ady and I should get all our mates together and hold our own Doggy Olympics.

There's a heap of events that we excel in. We could find our own champions.

After all, a lot of sectors of the community have their own Olympics, such as the disabled. If there are any former postmen involved, chances are, it was a mad dog that put them there.

Anyway here's Flo and Ady's ideas of potential sports:

Which brings us to the first of Flo's suggestions for events: The Postman Chase. This is similar to greyhound racing, but instead of a hare, we have a scared little postie on a bike, with a head start. The dogs should never quite catch the postie, otherwise OSH or the dog ranger will red card you.

Next on the agenda: The Olympic (Burger) Rings. Eat as many as you can off the plate on the coffee table before getting caught. If seen sneaking a ring, you get time out in the doghouse.

Fencing: First to slip under the wires and out of the backyard, wins.

Individual pursuit: Chase your own tail until dizzy and fall down.

Team pursuit: Me and Shelby and Gem give the seagulls on the mudflats a hurry up.

Stick fetch: Do we really need to explain this one?

Discus: Boss throws frisbee, dog catches and returns. Repeat as necessary.

Javelin: Similar to the stick fetch, but stick is sharp on one end. All fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Standing jump: Grab as many low hanging avocados from the tree in a set time.

Rob the Tea Trolley: A new event for 2012. Try to nab a gingernut before security grabs you.

Cat Spotting: Extra points for the tabby, lowest score for the gingers. Possums do not count.

Ball Fetch: Imagine Wimbledon, but with no racquets, lines or nets.

Synchronised Farting. Follows an hour or two after the Olympic Rings.

Mindless barking: The soundtrack to the closing ceremony.

Ady's version:

Flo, this all sounds too much for me, all these sports require the use of energy, these days I am all for sports like these to be included in the 'Doggy (style) Olympics”

(a) Wink wink, nudge nudge freestyle, best not to compete as chasing a Chinese take away, and having to explain that the reason I swim like a fish is because I have been cloned from one. Takes too much explaining, but being on hand to clean up the wontons at the end is what you get a medal for. Sniff them carefully first, for illegal substances.

(b) Swan shooting in Hyde Park. I am always up for this, but the boss reckons little queenie may get upset. Who cares, this is the Olympics.

(c) Chasing parked cars. Unfortunately I would watch on in dismay as the Irish canines will take all the medals. It's good though you get to bark and take off after the red car down the road, after three steps you realise that it is futile and stop. Then you roll round laughing so much seeing the Irish Hounds keep going, genetically this is why Irish dogs have flat noses, as they only have true enlightenment when they hit the back of car.

(d) The hurdles. I have been training for this since I was your age Flo, and the reason the boss reckons I am so good at it, is because someone is always trying to put impediments in my way (especially by putting my food bowl on the bench) but German cunning and smarts makes me a potential champion.

(e) Scare the bejeezes out of the derelicts. Another sport that involves running up to the front gate, teeth bared, barking, you wanna go then! Most are so mixed up they do not know what you are on about, and it is always better played when the boss lets me out to chase them, the only downside is you cannot bite them, as you do not know where they have been.

(f) Leave the Pit Bull at grannies. Not for the fainthearted, and we have set a time limit of an hour for this to be completed. Two hours, it starts to gnaw at you, and this will be its last Olympics.

Well Flo that's it from me, as the boss has turned out the light, which means only one thing, it's time for my favourite sport, sneak under the duvet and go to sleep, alright!

Being sports mad dogs, we have to take a moment to thank our nutrition advisors 'ZiwiPeak” our trainer Wendy, and like the Chinese, we make a special effort to thank our doctors the 'Mobile Vets” for making us as fast as, bro!

Cheers all and go the mighty chiefies.