Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Avid sports fans, demoralised after Team New Zealand's spectacular downfall, can take heart from several stunning success stories this week.

The All Blacks have of course shown us that champions still walk amongst us, after a thrilling thrashing of South Africa to take the rugby champs.
And far from being defeated on the water, our young yachties, namely Burling and Meech, have proven that not only does NZ have world beaters in sailing, but the Bay of Plenty breeds them.
They win yacht races with the level of their skill, not a measure of their budget. They are among a throng, if that is the right term for a collection of sailors, from our region who are right at the top of their game. Add to the recent world champs wins the successes also of the Saunders and others, and we get a picture of a sailing region producing yachties who can foot it with the world's best, based on skill, not just a measure of how much money can be invested in technology, which is how many now view the America's Cup.
Really the America's Cup should be named something more appropriate, such as The Technology Spending Championships With Some Sailing Thrown In.
Which brings us to some concerns that RR headquarters has been wrestling with for some time. That many sports are not aptly named. So we've launched a campaign to re-name most of the world's sports to more appropriately describe what these events involve.

Getting a grip
The aforementioned wrestling is well labelled. It leaves you in no doubt what happens. But imagine a Martian landing on earth and trying to come to grips with some of our sport names.
How would you explain rugby? It's a sport involving a field, goalposts and an oval ball but it's named after a grubby little town in England.
If that's not difficult enough for our extra-terrestrial sports fan to grasp, try explaining badminton.
So the proposal is to rename badminton as Shuttlecocking.
Now any pursuit involving the cock word, especially combined with some shuttling, is fraught with hazards. It could be argued that shuttlecocking is the après-golf pastime of Tiger Woods, but we can assure you that the world would soon get used to the new name for the sport and those of you who are sniggering right now, I remind you, we should be adults about this and accept there are times when it's appropriate to whip out the cock word in polite conversation without fear of offence.

Boat confusion
And talking earlier of boats, be aware that boat races are often confused with drinking games and sculling isn't always an event involving rowing and oars, although participants have been known to end up in the drink.
Another sporting code that has identity issues is croquet. Try explaining that to the Martian sports fan. Croquet is a silly French word that means 'small round chocolates that your gran used to have'. This would be far better described as Malletting.
Netball is very clear and concise, along with basketball, and football but we have some major concerns over the pitching of Polo. This is essentially football on horses, although much of the world simply refers to polo players as tossers - even though technically they don't toss the ball, but whack it with their bats. So the most logical name change for polo would be to Horse Malletting.
Javelin needs to reclaim its ancient roots and become Spear Chucking. Shot Put is pretty clear, and most of the athletic events, however many of you have often thought Walking is just stupid.
Boxing should rightly be called hitting. Fencing obviously needs a new name, unless it's being performed at Mystery Creek during Fieldays with a pair of pliers. Tennis is okay, but only played by people who don't have Labrador retrievers. There is no need for the complications of a net, racquet and headbands if you have a tennis ball obsessed canine in the neighbourhood. We may have to consider something like racquet fetch.
Skiing is an odd one. It is essentially Downhill Sliding While Standing on Things. Unless performed over water, in which case it should be called Asking For Trouble. Luge would be better described as Skiing Gone Wrong. Hockey is another code which could use some re-branding. While many people describe hockey as simply confusing, avid fans will tell you it is quite logical. We are open to suggestions on this one. Bent Stick Ball is a possibility, but our lines are now open for your calls on this. While you're at it, have a think about other sports that need re-branding and drop a line to brian@thesun.co.nz
In the meantime, please don't take the Martian to see any synchronized swimming, unless he's had a couple of stiff drinks.