Newshound Ady & Flo www.sunlive.co.nz

I was minding my own business, stalking the retractable garden hose to ambush it mid-way through its evil habit of retracting, when a strange noise was heard emanating from the compost bin.

Now ordinarily, the task of pursuing the garden hose while retracting takes a higher priority in the Schedule of Things a Dog Needs to React To.

Schedule of importance of things a dog reacts to:

Distant cat howl
Compost bin intruder
Car stops outside butchery
Sound of garden hose retracting
Sound of Dog bowl replenishment
Gun cleaning
Goose flies overhead
Duck call
Cat enters yard



But on this particular day, the garden hose had been thoroughly disciplined on a number of previous occasions, the thought processes of this Labrador quickly deduced that in fact, this could one of those times when a Compost Bin Commotion gets a special exemption on the aforementioned scale of seriousness requiring Dog intervention.

Trotting toward the compost bin, with a spring in step and ears appropriately positioned to indicate Alert Level 2.5 (higher than the cars keys being picked up, but not as alert as the fridge door opening).

Car key movement detected
Fridge door opening
Signs of lead/ball thrower/frisbee
Uncle Tony moves within three miles
Uncle Tony enters room
Uncle Tony picks up car keys, lead, ball thrower and says 'let's go”. (off the scale)



I arrive at the compost bin just in time to witness the last death throes of Rodney the Rat, long-time mutual nemesis of Chad the Champion Rat Catcher and myself. He'd finally fallen for the old almond nut in the rat trap trick.

Not often that me and a cat celebrate a mutual victory.

The moment of glory was shattered seconds later, when, clicketty clacketty click, the garden hose made its break.

Despite reaching Mach 2 around the corner of the house, startling Chad who went up the avocado tree pulling 5G forces and teetering on the brink of unconscious from the vertical acceleration – the darned hose got away. Again.

Never mind. I know where it lives.

One day I will beat the evil water snake, before it escapes back into its shell.

- Flo.