Over the last two weeks, you have all had a serious lesson on chasing pussy, so I thought this week I would concentrate on something close to my heart.

With the Queen's birthday having just past, I must admit that I have been put off my food, by H.R.H, not including me in her roll of honour.
I am sure there are a lot of categories I could get a 'gong” for, the whole arise Sir Diesel, sure has a certain charm about it, and I am sure the bitches down on the Strand would positively swoon, even the little girl would have to stop trying to chew my tail off, dam she evens steals my food now.
Here are a few ideas, for the slippers (ooops, I mean Corgis) in the palace:
S.O.F – Services of food. I have done my bit for two legger obesity, by stealing as much ice cream and fast food as I can.
D.T.P – Death to possums. The protection of our native wild life, by eradicating all possums, tearing legs of etc, is all part of the game.
S.T.E – Services to education. The tutoring of my 'cuzz” in the sordid art of two legger manipulation, for example.
K.A.A.H – Keeping an Aussie happy. I do this on a weekly basis, and for trans-Tasman relations, I should at least be given a bone.
I could go on and on about my wonderful caring giving nature for ages, but even I know when to give up, and there is always next year.
But wait there is more, just when someone mentioned the queen word, my good old mate in the kitchen at my favourite watering hole 'No.1 The Strand”, Daz, told me a story. On Friday night just past, after serving up the best food around, he decided a night on the town was in order. Now somehow he ended up in a karaoke bar late at night and after a few vinos, complemented a lass on her lovely voice as she had just finished belting out her version of 'Love Is In The Air.” He then proceeded to head to the lavatory to rest the python, only to turn around and see the so called lass with the lovely voice following him into the Gents. Well I have it on good authority that his voice dropped a couple of octaves, and I had to inform him to watch the Adams apple, man.
And while we are talking about porkers so to speak, my old mate Johnny from the Aussie Butchers in Gate Pa has non-disturbed pork on special this week. So get along and see him and ask him to sing you a song…watch the Adams apple.

'Glazed pork roast'

Ingredients
2.25 kg shoulder pork roast, bone in
Salt and pepper
½ cup port wine
¼ cup brown sugar

Method
Heat oven to 160C. Sprinkle the pork roast generously with salt and pepper. Place fatty side up in a roasting pan and roast for 1hr 45min. Meanwhile, combine port and brown sugar in a small saucepan and bring it to a boil over medium heat. Cook until thickened and reduced to 1/3 cup, about five minutes. Brush port with this glaze. Roast the meat an hour longer, basting it occasionally with the pan juices and glaze. Remove the roast from the oven and let it stand 15 minutes before carving. Serves 10.

'Peach sangaree'

Ingredients
2oz peach brandy
1 tsp port
Club soda
Sprinkle nutmeg

Method
Stir brandy and soda water into a highball glass and fill with ice. Float port on top, sprinkle with nutmeg and serve.

Alrighty all, take it easy out there and remember, do it to them before they do it to you.