Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

What a wild week. We've dubbed it 'marine mammal appreciation week” since whaling took a king hit and the dolphins helped us celebrate it. The RR crew spent a weekend cavorting with them, which ended up turning into a wild dolphin sex party at the beach.

The RR crew extracted themselves from the mayhem before things got really raunchy, but not before shooting plenty of great photos and video of these amazing creatures. It's all on SunLive and the Waterline websites; www.sunlive.co.nz/news/68485-sex-sea.html

The most amazing thing was seeing the courtship rituals, including the males picking choice pieces of seaweed bouquets for their ladyfolk – and watching the females accept or reject the offering. Amazing stuff and if you're into the sea and fishy stuff, you'll love this.

This experience came hot on the heels of the announcement that Japan's finally been officially nailed for illegal whaling in southern waters.

This needs saying
I know Murray McCully doesn't want us to offend our honourable trading partners in the wake of the landmark whale ruling. But this needs saying: Feck off, Japan.

That's essentially the message from the International Court of Justice, and the world for that matter, ruling your sham research to slaughter whales in southern waters, illegal.

We already knew it was. And immoral. And offensive. And arrogant. And downright insulting.

How could a supposedly civilised nation and trading partner thumb its nose at its supposed friends, for so long?

The greatest insult was expecting us to believe the tripe that whales were being hunted and eaten for research.

It will go down as one of those classic lies of all times.

'Whaling is purely for research” can be added to the list: 'The cheque's in the mail.”

'NO”. (Hold up a sign)

'I did not have sex with that woman.”

'I only subscribe for the articles.”

Sorry Murray. We have put up with the insults for too long. We are not pussyfooting around trying to smooth the waters on this travesty; the only question is why has it taken so long?

Full credit to Sea Shepherd and Pete Bethune, for relentlessly pursuing the cause. And take note, Greenpeace, you officially have no balls. Too busy with stunts, putting actors up ship rigging to actually get down and dirty with the whale killers.

Flag it
As promised, here's some fine flag ideas from our readers. Winner of the prizes are Deaana Roberts, age seven, for her very cool entry, and the wildest Kiwi we've ever seen.

Also Wayne
Heyworth, who is so far ahead in the game he made his own flag years ago and has it flying from his home flagpole.

Thanks to the many others who have sent ideas. We'll pop a few in from time to time, when we have space.

Tyre tyrants
I read with horror the plans for our already well-derided parking wardens, to extend their probing beady eyes beyond parking duties.

The plan was to have them check for bald tyres, wipers and other warrant faults. The idea has the handbrake pulled from a number of angles, including the Mayor, who's wisely flip-flopped on it.

Just as well, because we'd no longer be able to tag them as Meter Maids.

We'd be requiring some new nicknames for these vehicle vultures.

A couple spring to mind. Wiper Wenches. Tyre Tyrants.

Send your suggestions. I'm sure they'll be delighted to hear them.

Another week passes and there's still no sign of the missing Malaysian jet and its people.
The media keeps talking of the race to find the 'black box”.

Is anyone else tired the cliché of the black box, which isn't actually black? It's not technically a box either; it's got round bits on the side. We all know it's orange.

Come on people, face up. I think we are all adult enough to understand the concept of a Flight Data Recorder. Or even the orange thing.

Clock dangers ahead
Put your clock back an hour before bed on Saturday night.

The good people in the guvmint are clearly expecting this to cause some trouble, as they say we should also change the batteries in our smoke alarms and check household emergency plans and survival gear. Jeez, so along with more darkness, there could be smoke, fire, rationing, civil unrest, blackouts and mayhem?

Crikey, this is starting to sound serious. I recommend you also check the functioning of the fire escapes, the ejector seats and the alien death ray shields.

And while we're at it, it might be an opportune time to charge up the laser deflecting force fields, familiarise oneself with the arming procedure for the ballistic nuclear warheads and give the cat a worm treatment.

In the meantime, stay alert, at least until September 28, when daylight saving
starts again.

Parting thought
So the city council is trying to re-invent itself as the tyre police, and some councillors and former councillors are eyeing political positions beyond local government. Does that make them re-treads?