Tips for combating holiday loneliness

Back view of lonely woman in a red santa claus christmas hat sitting and looking at window.

Christmas time can be particularly difficult for some, especially those feeling isolated.

Mental Health Foundation chief executive Shaun Robinson said some may feel isolated because they don’t have family and friends around at this time of year when others are coming together.

Mental Health Foundation's Shaun Robinson. Photo / Chris Skelton
Mental Health Foundation's Shaun Robinson. Photo / Chris Skelton

“Some parents who co-parent may feel lonely as their children spend time with the other parent,” said Robinson. “We can all combat loneliness by thinking about who is isolated in our whānau and community and making an effort to include them.

“Just a small amount of contact or a kind gesture can make a huge difference.”

Robinson said it’s important to notice if a person is not themselves, not behaving in their usual patterns and ways. “Some people are more outgoing, some withdraw, some sleep more, some sleep much less.”

He said it is usually best to trust your instincts and simply say: “You don’t seem to be yourself. Is everything okay?

“Find a time to ask this when you have time to listen and there is privacy.”

Robinson advised to be prepared for the person to brush you off; then you can simply say: “Well if you do want to talk, I’m here”.

“Don’t try to fix the person’s problems. Listen compassionately and simply let them know that you hear that it’s painful and hard.”

You should spend some time with them to uplift them, said Robinson. Go to the beach, play a game or sport or listen to music.

“If they are really struggling, support them to reach out for professional help, like 1737 the free counselling hotline or making an appointment with their GP.”

For those feeling lonely or isolated, Robinson said to always stay in touch with those in your life.

“Plan to be with other friends who might not have family. Look for activities by community groups such as churches or charities. Keep up a routine of doing things that are good for your mental health and well-being.

“Stay active, eat healthy foods, have regular sleep, take time to relax and do activities you enjoy.”

Keep your mind active by reading, listening to a podcast or doing a hobby.

 

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