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Roger Rabbits with |
Some people’s habits annoy. Like a roasted sesame seed that gets under a dental plate and rumbles around. So, I hear.
Those trivial, petty, but exasperating habits of others that live rent free in your head, festering away, and bugging the hell out of you.
Try these.
*Mouth-breathers who wheeze and gurgle. Gross! Sets off the misophonia – over-reacting to sounds that drive you crazy.
*People who use speakerphone in public. Just don’t.
* People who chew with their mouth open. Just don’t.
* People who over-dramatise their OMG responses so there are 10 “G’s” in God. Pull back the effects! We get the message.
* Drivers who insist on backing pickups into supermarket carparks.
* Excessive use of “sick” or “ill” to describe what is actually excellent, amazing, or cool. The lexicon already provides more accurate and appropriate words than “sick” or “ill”. Like excellent, amazing or cool.
*People who spontaneously thrum their fingers or shake legs. Spare us. Put your hands in your pockets and cross your legs.
*The overuse of “awesome.” Shall we save “awesome” for big things - like atomic bombs, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions and lightning strikes.
*People who pointlessly say “like” so often, you want to punch them.
They’re irks that are nothing more than a bother, a nuisance, even to a crusty old curmudgeon. But the one that’s right up there on the Richter scale, way beyond irks, the gnarly, ugly one, is racism.
Like when a courageous, achieving, caring and proud woman called Mary went public with her story recently. It made me cringe and squirm.
“I don’t want…..”
Mary is a wahine Māori with a Bachelor of Nursing degree who proudly wears a moko kauae to celebrate her whānau, her belonging, her achievements, her love and her caring. She is a hospital nurse who offers the same professional level of care, comfort, empathy and understanding to all her patients. Bar none.
But it’s not always appreciated. One patient rejected Mary’s care because of her moko kauae. Mary heard the patient say “I don’t want that black girl with the ugly face to look after me.” Without fuss, without ado, a gracious nursing angel simply handed over the woman’s wellbeing to another nurse.
It seemed Mary’s years of study, her dedication, her bubbly nature, and her noble calling to serve, and care, and help heal mattered for nothing. Her moko kauae, and her skin tone did. And that’s sad and shameful.
The older generation
Mary has observed that most of the negativity towards her moko kauae comes from “the older generation”. That doesn’t make it forgivable. And even you think it, please don’t say it.
It got us thinking. What say our hospital patient was trapped in a car wreck and Nurse Mary happened along. Would she have been so keen to dismiss Nurse Mary’s help simply because she wore a moko kauae?
What if it had been that patient’s spouse, or child, was in the car wreck. Would she have said “no thank you” to Nurse Mary because of her moko kauae?
What if the patient had suffered a life-threatening heart attack and Nurse Mary was on hand with CPR skills and a defibrillator, would she have snubbed Nurse Mary simply because of her moko kaue? Common sense tells us not!
A colleague was also musing - if Nurse Mary didn’t wear her uniqueness on her chin, if she didn’t have a moko kauae, would that have made the slightest bit of difference to our patient? Why do we suspect not. It’s not Nurse Mary’s only experience with our ugly racist underbelly. She’s been told by patients she would “never get a job anywhere else” because of her moko kauae, and it would be hard for her to travel overseas “with that on her face”.
It’s all around us most of the time. I recall a conversation around the Tauranga local body elections and a respectable mature person suggested they could never vote for Ria Hall because of her moko kauae. Her credentials were irrelevant, her culture was.
It’s an aside. One in five New Zealanders is tattooed, so there’s a good chance someone in her family is inked.
I apologise
I wonder if she [the patient mentioned earlier] would be a little more sympathetic and understanding in their case. I do not know Nurse Mary, but I apologise to her on behalf of all principled, fair-minded and inclusive New Zealanders who, like myself, would delight in having her at my hospital bedside should the need ever arise.
Everything that moko kauae symbolises would be of comfort to me. And I am certain that right now, Nurse Mary is working the ward somewhere and delivering love and care. To all her patients. Without prejudice.