Diesel Rogers Dining with Diesel www.sunlive.co.nz

This whole electronic tracking idea is getting way out of hand.
First the boss decided it would be entertaining to fit me up with a satellite navigation tracker (see last week's column) to log my manoeuvres around the neighbourhood.

Next thing he straps a live webcam to me for the purposes of documenting the daily travels of an average Labrador.
What is wrong with this guy? Has he too much time on his hands? Has he been overloading his brain on Discovery Channel or Animal Planet?
Do I look like a wild creature that requires my every move recorded, reported and posted on the interweb?
It's not as if my movements are any great mystery to the scientific world.
In fact my daily routine in life can be summed up quite simply:
Wake up, eat, walk, sleep, think about eating, sleep, watch the ladies, walk, eat, sleep.
Once a week – write a column, check the sharemarket and go to a Probus meeting – otherwise, humdrum. Pretty simple really.
Occasionally there's the odd swim, rock fetch, cat discipline session, wag ‘n' sniff with my buddies – but the rest is ‘business as usual'.
Now with collarcam, I'm going to have to behave all the time.
No opportunity to stick my face in the cat bowl, have a quiet lick of the nether regions or investigate reporters' lunches in the newsroom.
If I do, I'm likely to end up in some sort of wildlife documentary on how animals have adapted to foraging in the city. Or maybe a 20/20 programme on compulsive eating disorders… or worse, a Jenny Craig infomercial.

However, I've thought of a cunning way to turn the tables. You see, the boss will have to watch what he is up to… since I spend a lot of my time watching him. Usually, it's with large brown pleading eyes that say ‘feed me'. Except now, the camera will be pointed in his direction.
Who's under the camera spotlight now, Einstein?
There'll be no more cruising TradeMe or those dodgy websites with me watching over his shoulder; or fixing boats in the shed when he's supposed to be doing chores. Or those sneaky midnight visits to the refrigerator… at least not without an increase in my level of ‘commission'.
And speaking of tasty morsels from the fridge, John the Aussie Butcher is the expert for that.
Mouth watering steak
Ingredients
4 beef T-Bone steaks
1 small onion
4 cloves garlic
1 cup Worcestershire sauce
½ cup butter
Salt and pepper
1 Tbsp vinegar
Hot sauce, to taste

Method
Let the steaks come to room temperature. Preheat barbecue.
In a small saucepan add butter, onions and garlic and sauté until translucent. Add the vinegar, Worcestershire sauce and hot sauce and bring to a simmer.
Brush steaks with sauce mixture and place on barbecue, directly over the heat.
Brush liberally and often with the sauce while the steak is cooking. Cook steak for seven minutes on each side (for medium rare to medium), turning the steak only once.
Serve with a baked potato and fresh garden salad.
That's all for this week. Remember to smile - you may be on Canine Camera.