Diesel Rogers Dining with Diesel www.sunlive.co.nz

If you have been keeping up with my weekly rants so far this year, you will notice that I am being swamped with technological gizmos and their associated problems.

Now the bloody people that put this paper together have made a Facebook page for me, and have asked me to please explain myself.
I am good at doing this, as for the 10 glorious years I have been doing what I do, the boss is always asking me this question. It goes back to the days I shredded the beach ball, but anyway here goes.
Diesel's profile
Age…10 or thereabouts
Weight…Not telling
Breed…Chocolate Labrador, really
Employment…Champion of the people, and garbologist
Likes…The bosses, people that feed me, giving out a good rogering, Johnny's bones, going bush, Ady (the mad German, please do not tell her though), sleeping, and anything else where I will not pull a muscle exerting myself, watching the boss trying to shoot birds.
Dislikes…Two leggers that tease me with food, e.g. hold a morsel out then take it away. To them I say do that again and I will rip your bloody arm off. Ralph the cat, cats in general actually, now it's not that I am anti pussies, I am a male dog for goodness sake, just I hate seeing them getting preferential treatment. Speedos, the Strand on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, technology, empty rubbish bins, and the list could go on but you get the picture I am sure.
Qualifications…MBA - masters in bone annihilation, BGB - bloody good bastard (this is often disputed), BRK - bull rush king. That's all the official ones anyway
Sports…Toss the hedgehog, floundering, watching it on television
Religion…Not really into it since I was banned from Sunday school. The after match club sandwiches are okay but the dry bread during the match did not do much for my indigestion, so will leave this debate to people higher up the ladder than me.
Political views…Well what can I say, to hell with it here goes: income tax should be abolished and GST should be raised to 40 per cent, this way if you want to save you can, or user pays for everything. At least this way you have a choice, also I am glad Helen (where has all the money gone?) Clarke has departed as I swear that I have made her an honorary canine, but if I woke up next to her in the morning I reckon I would chew my own leg off. No chance of her ever sharing my blanket though as I hear she is not really interested in dogs like me.
Favourite quotes…Is the Pope a Catholic, do steam rollers actually roll steam, and if you smile at the world the world will smile with you, but if you moan you moan alone.
Music…the haunting sounds of a possum up a tree, the tucker bag being opened, the boss telling me we are of to see Johnny boy, the Aussie butcher.
My objective in life….To make people smile, and to make them realise that all this PC rubbish is exactly that, and to get everyone to lighten up and be in with a grin.
There you go then, I could go on for pages but apparently Bill Gates only lets you have so much space.
Make sure you get on down and see the butcher boy in Gate Pa, as I am sure he will be signing up on my Facebook page, as all you folk out there can do as well to keep up with my antics on a daily basis. Search Dieseldog Rogers and you will find me. It is going to be like one of those reality television shows - bring it on!

Barbecued leg of lamb
Ingredients
1 butterflied leg of lamb
3 cloves garlic
10 kalamata olives, pitted and roughly chopped
1 Tbsp fresh rosemary, finely chopped
2 tsp finely grated lemon rind
¼ cup oil
2 anchovy fillets, finely chopped
Method
Place lamb in a ceramic dish along with the garlic, olives, lemon rind, rosemary, oil and anchovy fillets. Refrigerate for several hours, or overnight, turning occasionally.
Allow lamb to come to room temperature prior to cooking and then barbecue for 15-18 minutes each side (depending on the size of the leg and preferred cooking temperature). An average leg will cook to medium rare in 30-35 minutes.
Scatter fresh rosemary over the lamb towards the end of cooking.
Serve with grilled vegetables.