Ady Breeds Dog's Breakfast www.sunlive.co.nz

Hey folks, a short but sweet column from your fraulein friend this week.

I've been far too busy dodging pesky marine life to write much – in fact, the seas around our coastline have been seething with angry specimens.

No sooner had we dispatched Happy Feet back to the deep freeze, than we get a plague on the beaches of another sort of marine visitor.

DOC says the seals are here for a bit of shore leave and are best left alone. Roger that. I'll be keeping a good distance from those biting buggers.

Snappy Feet, they should be named – seals are well known to have a particular dislike for inquisitive canines. So people, keep your pooches well away. Mind you, there's a few cats I'd like to send their way.

Apart from inflicting nasty bites, they also carry diseases and have bad breath. I guess that happens when you eat too much fish and don't floss.

Some two-leggers mistake seals on beaches for sick ones, when in fact, they are often just bone lazy and lie on the sand or in the water for long periods of time. Best to give them a wide berth.

And speaking of such, uncle had a close encounter with a similar marine monster this week; a sealion he's named Grumpy Feet.

There is certainly nothing happy about this bloke. He got his flippers in a right flap when uncle strayed into his patch during a night fishing expedition.

Now, uncle is not known for his religious beliefs, but it's rumoured that he did walk or run on water for a fair stretch when the adrenalin kicked in.

He still jumps when you sneak up behind him and bark 'Arrrf.”

Hilarious.

Till next time.
Don't let your flipper flappers dangle in the dust.

Ady.