News Hound Ady & Flo

It's been a busy week, what with the election looming, a trip away to the bush and my last puppy vaccinations.

Jorg and the lovely Margaret, the Mobile Vets, cruised by for my 14 week health check and a wee jab. Fortunately there were plenty of Ziwipeak treats to take my attention away from the needle.

Jorg said I was in fine shape, which is more than we can say for Mr Chicken, (the world's most annoying toy, pictured right) who had a foot chewed off; and Mr Lion, who seems to have been disembowelled.

No one in the office knows how this happened. I asked Ady and she says it appears Mr Chicken and Mr Lion must have been in a huge scrap, a bit like All Black Zac – and that resulted in some injuries.

Jorg says Mr Chicken will be just fine, as long as he hops and Mr Lion can still perform to expectations as a soft toy, just not really filled out like he used to be.

I think he's a shadow of his former self, as per Awatere Huata after her stomach stapling.

With my last shots on board, I can next week venture forth into the great wild world; and maraud freely through the bush without threat from germy rodents. In fact, the said rodents may well fear for their own health, with me and Ady, the German rodent and general wildlife exterminator, hot on their trails.

Jorg and Margaret of Mount Mobile Vets give Flo her shots, while Ady sympathises.

Jorg says I'm growing nicely. A rolly-polly puppy, with good weight on my ribs.

I feel it too. I was running around the deck the other day, with the skinny Lion, and spied Ady up ahead. I went for the usual under-her-back-legs manoeuvre, only to find that I'm now too tall. I ended up firmly wedged under the German's britches. Talk about embarrassing. Reminded me of the time that bloke with the hiab truck tried to drive under the expressway over bridge. With his crane up.

- Flo.

Yo Flo, next time you want to take a shortcut to the courtyard, please leave my under carriage out of your plan, I know my time has been spent sleeping lately, due to not being allowed out with my two-leggers shooting and hounding the wildlife, but there is no need to hint that my belly is a little swollen and closer to the ground. But you are getting bigger.

Dammit and here was me hoping you would stay the size you are, in another three months how am I going to keep you out of my food bowl? No worries, by that stage I will have been in serious training for the upcoming fun season and will be in fighting shape, no longer will your fluffy toys be safe if you leave them lying around, disembowelment is a given.

Flo with the German contingent: Baz the Schnauzer and Ady.

The toy chicken with one hoof, what can I say, but I am a breast girl myself, so it must have been ‘Basil' the Schnauzer who paid a visit last week. I can not take the blame for everything – just because you are a cuddly little fur ball at the moment, it does not mean the blame game will last. I know, I tried it on with Big D and I tell you it does not work.

No worries though, as we all have enough on our plate (oops that's not correct in your case Flo, as you are a Labrador and there is never enough on your plate) with the election this week, us canines cannot vote.

Just as well, as someone said the other day, that the country is going to the dogs and we do not want it – it's up to you two-leggers to straighten the place out.

Get it sorted, I am sick of the whinging. It is all starting to sound like Flo sitting outside the food cupboard. Remember unless you vote, you have no right to complain.

Cheers all and keep it cool until after school.

- Ady.

Training by Wendy Graydon, The Dog Trainer. 0210 700 111
Sustenance: Ziwipeak.
We do all our own stunts.