Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

As per the tradition, RR offers voters some special advice on election weekend to maximise your voting pleasure.

But we won't be mentioning the weather. Why not? Because RR researchers have been reading the Electoral Commission's rules on what can't be said on election day and apparently, the weather cannot be commented about on voting day in case it puts people off going to the ballot stations.

No one is allowed to try to influence who you should vote for on election day, nor is anyone allowed to discourage you from voting by reporting that the weather is bad and therefore perhaps causing people to not vote. Uh?

This doesn't make much sense here at RR. Because just as stormy weather might put people off going to the ballot station, one could argue that reports of fine weather may also be discouraging to voters. For instance, fear of sunburn. And if the weather is glorious, some voters may go cast a fishing line rather than cast a vote.

Sorry, electoral people, I think you're getting a bit carried away here with the PC-ness.

More theory

There's another theory doing the rounds that left wing parties do better in voting during fine weather. The idea is that more people voting usually means a better turnout of left-leaning voters. In times of poor weather, it is said to favour right wing, conservative interests.

Mind you, that didn't stop the Lange lefties rolling Muldoon in the mid eighties, despite particularly nasty weather on that polling day, in which a fair part of the South was under snow. So much for that weather theory.

You'd think that anyone who is in the least concerned with the future of their country would vote, no matter what the weather – and if it's a rubbish weekend, what better else to do than have your say in the democratic process?

All we can deduce from all this: People are strange. RR recommends therefore that in the interests of democracy and a fair poll, that all weather on Saturday is henceforth cancelled.

'After all the fuss about the election is over, it will be nice for everyone to just sit back and relax over a nice hot cup of tea.”

We know you have some painstaking decisions to make in the next few hours, so as usual we will endeavour to guide you through the process to make it as painless as possible. That is what to wear to the polling booth: We'd like to make some suggestions, but without mentioning the weather, this isn't going to be easy. So to cover all bases we suggest you dress lightly, but take a coat in case it gets cold or wet and a sunhat, just in case it's blistering hot.

Voting should be very straight forward if you take your voter's card, which should have arrived in the mail.

If you are not in your electorate and need to make a special vote, it could be because you are in one of these places (sent by well-travelled reader John):

Places I have been
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognises you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense. It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart. At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get.

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible, but life shows me I am not.

I have been in Deep**** many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.